Could you date someone who doesn't read?

Benita Ogarekpe · Post by **Benita Ogarekpe** » 15 Apr 2025, 06:10

I could, as long as he doesn’t mind listening to me go on and on about the books that I read, because I’ll definitely want to talk about them, and he better be happy to listen. We can’t all have the same interests, so I would understand if he didn’t find reading as engaging as I do.
I don’t mind being the reader in the relationship as long as he’s happy to be the listener.

Post by **Jodi Townsend** » 18 Apr 2025, 09:00

My b/f doesn't read books, but he is constantly reading articles or watching documentaries, and I think that is the difference. Having ADHD, he doesn't have the capacity to sit and read a book, but he is constantly feeding his brain in some way, and I think that is the difference. If he was just mind-numbing himself, I would have an issue with that. He never watches TV. He'll watch a movie here and there, if it's something he really wants to see, or if I've drug him to the theater. But in 8 years together, and 10 years knowing him, I have never seen him sit in front of a TV just to watch it. He falls asleep every time he's subjected to it, lol. He has also grown up with people who read, and his daughter is a constant reader. So, he gets it.

Christa Jolley · Post by **Christa Jolley** » 21 Apr 2025, 10:49

For me, I could date someone who doesn't like reading but they have to be ok with me curling up with a book in my room for hours lol. I would be a little disappointed though because I love to read so much and I love the idea of curling up with a reading partner. They wouldn't be able to understand my passion for reading. I do think that's it's healthy to have separate hobbies in a relationship for a little bit of individuality. They'd have to listen to me go on about a book and pretend to be interested.

James Hanna · Post by **Wamboi Susan** » 30 Apr 2025, 07:28

It would be nice to date a person who reads as both of you can be challenging each other,and when they see you reading they won't interfere because they understand.☺☺

Verity Keber · Post by **Verity Keber** » 30 Apr 2025, 16:22

I have been with my partner for 3 years and he hardly ever reads a book.
Reading (for me anyway) is a chance to be alone. We could sit in the same room both reading, but we would each be alone with our separate books.
Lots of things we both enjoy are better done together...camping, live music, films. But books are for solitude.
As far as being able to discuss books, I read a lot of history books, and he watches a lot of history programmes, so there is definitely an overlap. And I have many friends and family members who are avid readers, so no shortage of discussion!

rosariosoley · Post by **rosariosoley** » 04 May 2025, 19:35

My boyfriend is a Literature professor, and I have to say, it was a winning point from the get-go, ha!

We read together, too (so far: Dracula, The Name of the Rose, Son of Man by Augusto Roa Bastos, Boquitas Pintadas by Manuel Puig, and, currently, The Lieutenant by Kate Grenville). On a hypothetical level, though, I think I could date someone who wasn't obsessed with reading, but he would have to be reflective, sensitive, smart, and kind (which, to me, because of empathy, ought to come hand in hand with reading? Not that it is always the case, of course).

Went off in a biiiit of a tangent there, but hardly. Especially for me

Nazma P · Post by **Nazma P** » 07 May 2025, 10:24

That's a hard question. I don't think I can connect deeply with that kind of person. But I'm willing to try though. Sometimes some people just clicked, you never know what life will bring you.

Alieh Fortune · Post by **Alieh Fortune** » 07 May 2025, 21:31

I could but the person would have to understand that I'm a lover of books and get used to it. If you can't that's when there'll be an issue

Grtwhite131566 · Post by **Grtwhite131566** » 08 May 2025, 16:34

I have been in a relationship with someone who reads but I have also been in a relationship with someone that doesn't. I do believe that the conversations and intimacy are greater with someone who reads regulary, however, dating someone that has another hobby means I get time by myself while they pursue other activities. I would be in a relationship again with someone who doesn't read as long as they are able to have intelligent conversations.

Victor Chetachi · Post by **Victor Chetachi** » 10 May 2025, 15:56

I could definitely date someone who doesn't read. In my opinion, the success of a relationship cannot be determined by holding intellectual conversations alone. If you're using reading as a stand-in for intelligence, sophistication, curiousity or whatever, remember that those traits can can exist in non-readers too. Some highly intelligent and or successful people may not read much but are highly intelligent both intellectually and emotionally, really creative, deep thinkers, possess good leadership skills and so on.
Ultimately choosing a partner shouldn't be based on whether or not they enjoy reading but on what truly matters such as aligned goals, chemistry and attraction.

Oluwasegun Ayobami 1 · Post by **Oluwasegun Ayobami 1** » 11 May 2025, 14:08

I can't even find you attractive if you are not a reading type. I'm naturally drawn to readers. If you don't read I can't date you at all.

Nicole Rosen 2 · Post by **Nicole Rosen 2** » 12 May 2025, 23:22

I could and I have. If it were up to me, I would love to discuss books and share recommendations with the person I am with, and when that happens I am really grateful. However, especially in the modern age where information and intellectual stimulation come in different forms, I have found that a conversation can reach the same depth and richness in texture whether the person sits down with a book in their free time or not. I guess the only thing that could make a slight difference at times would be not being able to share a part of me by recommending a favorite book, or if they could not relate to my momentary heartbreak when I am in the middle of a difficult read, which still has not happened to me even when I was dating non-readers. I think at the end of the day it boils down to curiosity; we all make different use of our time, but if you love me and I want to share my experience of a book with you, you will find ways to listen to me that will make it as if you were reading the book through me, and I don't see a lack in that.

margherita mantovani · Post by **margherita mantovani** » 19 May 2025, 09:50

yes, i would love to share books but it's not fundamental

Aaron Stansell · Post by **Aaron Stansell** » 25 May 2025, 21:18

Reading isn’t meant for everyone. Movies, education, physical experiences, they all teach us. I am open-minded and I realize that intelligence can come from many sources and not all of us are driven by books.

Monique Febey · Post by **Monique Febey** » 26 May 2025, 07:29

As long as they don't hate or dismiss books, than I probably would. It would annoy me if they said they said they didn't like reading when they've never really tried, but as long as they didn't insult me for reading, than I think it would be fine to date someone who doesn't read.