Review of The Unfakeable Code®
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Nyagakah Ever
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Review of The Unfakeable Code®
[Following is a volunteer review of "The Unfakeable Code®" by Tony Jeton Selimi.]
The Unfakeable Code is all about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about undoing who you were never meant to be in the first place. Tony Jeton Selimi doesn’t push reinvention. He invites return. Return to clarity. To intention. And, in a deeper way, to contribution—not in the abstract “serve humanity” sense, but in small, deeply personal choices that ripple outward.
Reading this, I kept circling back to the way Tony talks about goals. Not the kind you scribble in a planner and forget three weeks later. He’s talking about value-rooted goals, where the end result isn’t some ego-boosting milestone, but something that aligns with your inner compass and contributes to the greater good. There’s this concept he weaves in—win-win-win-win thinking—that took a while to settle in my mind. At first, I thought it sounded like another coaching buzzword. But the more I sat with it, the more I saw how rare it is. It’s not about compromising or playing nice. It’s about designing your life so that your growth fuels other people’s growth, and that fuel spills into community, into systems, into how we treat strangers. I’m still thinking about that.
And I think what gives the book its weight is how it handles relationships. Not as fairy tale fixes or emotional trophies, but as what Tony calls “sacred laboratories for growth.” That line caught me off guard. It made sense. In hindsight, many of my closest relationships—romantic, platonic, even familial—have shaped me in ways that books or mentors never could. I liked that he doesn’t reduce love to romance or loyalty to obligation. He paints it as a space where our values and fears and masks are tested, stretched, and, when we're willing, stripped away. I found myself underlining entire sections where he discussed how emotional pain gets recycled in relationships until we finally pause and ask what we’re doing with it.
But there were moments—I have to say—where the advice around improving relationships felt, maybe not naïve, but a little too smooth for how messy things can get. He talks about owning your triggers, softening your defenses, seeing through projections—and all of that is true. It’s necessary. But I kept thinking of times in my own life when doing all of that still didn’t make the relationship safe or reciprocal. I’m not sure every relationship is salvageable, even with authenticity. I wonder if the book could have leaned into that messiness a bit more. Then again, maybe that’s not its job. Maybe it’s not trying to fix your relationships—it’s trying to fix your relationship with yourself first.
What stayed with me after I finished was the sense that I’d been gently but persistently nudged toward a larger frame. It’s hard to feel small when you’ve just spent 200 pages being reminded that your goals—when they come from your core—are capable of echoing into something bigger. The book never loses sight of that tension: that you matter, and so does everyone else. And that those truths aren’t in conflict. I’m giving this 5 out of 5 stars not because every word landed perfectly, but because it’s been a while since a book left me this clear about the kind of life I want to build—and who I’m building it for.
******
The Unfakeable Code®
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
The Unfakeable Code is all about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about undoing who you were never meant to be in the first place. Tony Jeton Selimi doesn’t push reinvention. He invites return. Return to clarity. To intention. And, in a deeper way, to contribution—not in the abstract “serve humanity” sense, but in small, deeply personal choices that ripple outward.
Reading this, I kept circling back to the way Tony talks about goals. Not the kind you scribble in a planner and forget three weeks later. He’s talking about value-rooted goals, where the end result isn’t some ego-boosting milestone, but something that aligns with your inner compass and contributes to the greater good. There’s this concept he weaves in—win-win-win-win thinking—that took a while to settle in my mind. At first, I thought it sounded like another coaching buzzword. But the more I sat with it, the more I saw how rare it is. It’s not about compromising or playing nice. It’s about designing your life so that your growth fuels other people’s growth, and that fuel spills into community, into systems, into how we treat strangers. I’m still thinking about that.
And I think what gives the book its weight is how it handles relationships. Not as fairy tale fixes or emotional trophies, but as what Tony calls “sacred laboratories for growth.” That line caught me off guard. It made sense. In hindsight, many of my closest relationships—romantic, platonic, even familial—have shaped me in ways that books or mentors never could. I liked that he doesn’t reduce love to romance or loyalty to obligation. He paints it as a space where our values and fears and masks are tested, stretched, and, when we're willing, stripped away. I found myself underlining entire sections where he discussed how emotional pain gets recycled in relationships until we finally pause and ask what we’re doing with it.
But there were moments—I have to say—where the advice around improving relationships felt, maybe not naïve, but a little too smooth for how messy things can get. He talks about owning your triggers, softening your defenses, seeing through projections—and all of that is true. It’s necessary. But I kept thinking of times in my own life when doing all of that still didn’t make the relationship safe or reciprocal. I’m not sure every relationship is salvageable, even with authenticity. I wonder if the book could have leaned into that messiness a bit more. Then again, maybe that’s not its job. Maybe it’s not trying to fix your relationships—it’s trying to fix your relationship with yourself first.
What stayed with me after I finished was the sense that I’d been gently but persistently nudged toward a larger frame. It’s hard to feel small when you’ve just spent 200 pages being reminded that your goals—when they come from your core—are capable of echoing into something bigger. The book never loses sight of that tension: that you matter, and so does everyone else. And that those truths aren’t in conflict. I’m giving this 5 out of 5 stars not because every word landed perfectly, but because it’s been a while since a book left me this clear about the kind of life I want to build—and who I’m building it for.
******
The Unfakeable Code®
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
