View on relationships

gali · Post by **gali** » 16 Jul 2017, 00:06

Jackie Donnelly wrote:I would never stay in an abusive relationship for the sake of my kids. I believe it is far healthier to remove them from any abusive situation.

I agree!

Sophie11 · Post by **Sophie11** » 16 Jul 2017, 13:19

I think a big part of the actions of adults in a relationship has a big impact on how kids view and form relationships of their own. You need to figure out as a person what sort of precedence you want to set for your children. I support Nadia's decision to leave, there is no excuse for abuse in a relationship no matter what. Yaser's situation is a bit different, and i would say it was solvable, hence creating an opportunity to teach kids on the importance of solving problems and giving it your all to the person you love.

Kdonegan91 · Post by **Kdonegan91** » 16 Jul 2017, 23:42

masterhawk88 wrote:Both actually. I'd never stand for abuse, but on the other hand, for my kids I think I'd try to make an unfulfilling relationship work.

I completely agree with masterhawk88.

ritah · Post by **ritah** » 17 Jul 2017, 06:19

I think their situations where a little different - one was abusive the other was negligent. However I'm with Nadia... I think it does more harm than good to stay in unhappy unfulfilling marriage as the kids will pick up on it. Better to be apart and happy than together and miserable. The only thing is both parents have to decide to treat each other with respect and raise their kids well despite the separation.

Jeconiaomolo · Post by **Jeconiaomolo** » 17 Jul 2017, 07:27

I support Yaser but on the other side Nadia is also very right. Yaser loved all his kids but you know what divorce means, sometimes you have to divide children. In a case where you love all of them and you would not like to miss any, you can take risk where violence is not involved. For Nadia, theres' was very much extreme beyond toleration and divorce was the only solution.

EN-EL-CIELO · Post by **EN-EL-CIELO** » 17 Jul 2017, 07:37

for me i would be on Nadia's side because it's my life and i only have one i don't want to waste it by being in an abusive relationship and if you did break up and makes your kids sad i guess it's kind of like practice for the future where it's much more hurtful. also i wouldn't want my kids around someone who abuses people all the time.

Abfaniki · Post by **Abfaniki** » 17 Jul 2017, 09:20

if your abuse verbally i think, then you should try and find solution or make sacrifice to stay in the relationship for the sake of your kids.
But if you abuse physical you should not stay in the relationship. so i disagree with Yaser..
BY staying in physical abusive relationship the person is telling there kid is OK. to abuse and be abuse.
"a child once as his mom that how come today dad did not beat you" this is the kind of precedent that spouse set for their kid if the stay in abusive relationship.

-- 17 Jul 2017, 09:22 --

society agree that we should disagree civilly but not barbarically

-- 17 Jul 2017, 09:27 --

what kids learn at early age will always shape there thought and action

-- 17 Jul 2017, 09:27 --

what kids learn at early age will always shape there thought and action

-- 17 Jul 2017, 09:40 --

Sophie11 wrote:I think a big part of the actions of adults in a relationship has a big impact on how kids view and form relationships of their own. You need to figure out as a person what sort of precedence you want to set for your children. I support Nadia's decision to leave, there is no excuse for abuse in a relationship no matter what. Yaser's situation is a bit different, and i would say it was solvable, hence creating an opportunity to teach kids on the importance of solving problems and giving it your all to the person you love.

you echo my thought

k2rugman · Post by **k2rugman** » 17 Jul 2017, 09:42

I don't think a person should stay in an abusive relationship, especially if children there are children. I also feel like it's important to try to make a relationship work and to not bail at the first sign of trouble. They are both difficult situations to be in though. It's often really hard for people to get out of abusive relationships.

Nancy Ougo · Post by **Nancy Ougo** » 18 Jul 2017, 00:41

I stand with Nadia. It's not right for someone to stay in an abusive relationship regardless of whether children are involved or not. In cases where children are involved,it is a bad example because they grow up embracing the act of being abusive and disrespectful to their partners as a norm.

Ashington Waweru · Post by **Ashington Waweru** » 18 Jul 2017, 08:43

I think the Kids will be affected psychologically if Nadia stays, she should leave the relationship until the partner decides to change.

MrsCatInTheHat · Post by **MrsCatInTheHat** » 18 Jul 2017, 12:11

Ubyamos wrote:I am on Yaser's side. Every woman should try to make a marriage work, whether abusive or unfulfilling, especially if kids are involved. I've seen kids and even grown-ups that have lost their way in life majorly because they came from a broken home.

Why should a woman (or a man) stay in an abusive situation? Possibly risking death. How is that good for them or the children?

-- 18 Jul 2017, 13:13 --

Jackie Donnelly wrote:I would never stay in an abusive relationship for the sake of my kids. I believe it is far healthier to remove them from any abusive situation.

I'm with you all the way on this one! I just don't understand it when people suggest that the abused should stay.

Afuglsan · Post by **Afuglsan** » 18 Jul 2017, 12:51

I grew up with parents who fought constantly, but stayed together for us kids. My husband had parents who fought constantly, but divorced. He once told me the thought that if we get to that stage we should stay together for the kids, but I countered with a quote that I found and fell in love with, "Two loving homes are better than one broken home." I think it would ultimately be better for the children to grow up knowing they are loved, even if the parents don't love each other any more.

DennisK · Post by **DennisK** » 18 Jul 2017, 13:40

CatInTheHat wrote:
Ubyamos wrote:I am on Yaser's side. Every woman should try to make a marriage work, whether abusive or unfulfilling, especially if kids are involved. I've seen kids and even grown-ups that have lost their way in life majorly because they came from a broken home.
Why should a woman (or a man) stay in an abusive situation? Possibly risking death. How is that good for them or the children?

-- 18 Jul 2017, 13:13 --

Jackie Donnelly wrote:I would never stay in an abusive relationship for the sake of my kids. I believe it is far healthier to remove them from any abusive situation.
I'm with you all the way on this one! I just don't understand it when people suggest that the abused should stay.

What I find sad is the general defensiveness and anger expressed by many of those responding to this question. I agree with Ubyamos but I would also include the husband in that responsibility. My two sisters and I came from a broken home. My father was a mean drunk which resulted in the end of the marriage – the end of us children having a father. My younger sister ended up on drugs which completely ruined her life. My older sister had to get married at a very young age. That resulted in a brood of 9 children which she eventually abandoned. My mother never forgave our father, and that hatred was a toxin contaminating the rest of her life. My father eventually remarried. Apparently, he got his act together for the marriage was a successful 30 year union. People can change – if given the chance. A marriage isn't always easy – sometimes it is downright hard. It certainly was the most maturing experience I have ever had - I needed a lot of maturing!

raikyuu · Post by **raikyuu** » 18 Jul 2017, 23:21

Jeconiaomolo wrote:I support Yaser but on the other side Nadia is also very right. Yaser loved all his kids but you know what divorce means, sometimes you have to divide children. In a case where you love all of them and you would not like to miss any, you can take risk where violence is not involved. For Nadia, theres' was very much extreme beyond toleration and divorce was the only solution.

I agree. There aren't necessarily two sides of the spectrum of relationships. Both of them can be right.

carole88 · Post by **carole88** » 19 Jul 2017, 00:44

I agree with you. Why should one stay in an abusive marriage? Yes you will stay but for how long will you let your kids watch you cry? the abuse will not only affect you but also the kids.