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It has often been said that every women should strive to have a range of friends with different personality types. Even Oprah published her own definitive list. Is the author trying to illustrate to the reader the advantages of having a variety of female companions that fill different, yet specific, roles?

I know I personally have my own Rose and know a few too many Sophies who are always putting the needs of others ahead of their own. Do you see a similar range of personalities in your network of companions?

Interesting!
The concept that perhaps women ‘should’ have specific friends covering all different types.
Perhaps it could be argued that the types in the book are too forced? That not all such women as these would actually be keen to engage in fly fishing?

And how to classify them? The businesswomen and single mum - check, plus the motherly career/nurturer - check, probably the sporty one is covered too as well as the arty/crafty one, the good listener, etc. Doesn’t this risk sounding like it’s heading into teenage female fiction, or even younger - tween groups of girlfriends?

Or, if the book is representative of the different types of friends every woman ‘should’ have, does that then suggest that women generally may not be able to enjoy all these types of friendships day-to-day? We see the Reel Sisters only getting together sporadically, rather than regularly. If they are held up as the desirable ideal, then perhaps all friendship groups with different types and different patterns of gathering are doomed?! :-O

What do others think?

CommMayo - Although it would be nice for women to have friends who are a range of personality types, I don't think this happens too often. Women often become friends with other women due to shared circumstances - working in the same company, neighbors, shared hobbies such as a monthly book club, their kids play together, their husbands are friends, etc. I don't necessarily think women seek out certain personality traits, although offensive traits would likely cause them to not become friends with certain people.

R-g-R - interesting analysis! I also thought the characters were too pigeon-holed. For example, Veronica is the successful career gal who is always cheerful, calm, and collected. Even during the horrible plane turbulence, she was busy helped a fellow passenger and never got unglued. I thought her character was a bit contrived and perfect - perfect job, perfect apartment, perfect husband. Amanda is a stereotype of the young military wife and mother who feels lonely and stressed out while her husband is away on deployment. It's true that the characters didn't get together regularly. That actually seemed realistic since some of the women didn't leave near each other or two of them had busy jobs.

It's the fly fishing that got everybody together, not that each planned to have specific personalities to be friends with. In my own life, I can identify a Rose, a Veronica, an Amanda, and a Melody. I think I'm a Sophie. Friends are a necessity in this harried world we live in. My friends and I can't afford an expensive hobby, but a videoke night would make a memorable reunion. (Just make sure you have enough mikes.)

bookowlie wrote: ↑05 Feb 2018, 12:51 CommMayo - Although it would be nice for women to have friends who are a range of personality types, I don't think this happens too often. Women often become friends with other women due to shared circumstances - working in the same company, neighbors, shared hobbies such as a monthly book club, their kids play together, their husbands are friends, etc. I don't necessarily think women seek out certain personality traits, although offensive traits would likely cause them to not become friends with certain people.

R-g-R - interesting analysis! I also thought the characters were too pigeon-holed. For example, Veronica is the successful career gal who is always cheerful, calm, and collected. Even during the horrible plane turbulence, she was busy helped a fellow passenger and never got unglued. I thought her character was a bit contrived and perfect - perfect job, perfect apartment, perfect husband. Amanda is a stereotype of the young military wife and mother who feels lonely and stressed out while her husband is away on deployment. It's true that the characters didn't get together regularly. That actually seemed realistic since some of the women didn't leave near each other or two of them had busy jobs.

I have to agree with bookowlie. I also don't think it's necessary to have a certain TYPE of friend. Also, because these "types" are so stereotypical, it would be hard to classify your friends into just one type...

bookowlie wrote: ↑05 Feb 2018, 12:51 CommMayo - Although it would be nice for women to have friends who are a range of personality types, I don't think this happens too often. Women often become friends with other women due to shared circumstances - working in the same company, neighbors, shared hobbies such as a monthly book club, their kids play together, their husbands are friends, etc. I don't necessarily think women seek out certain personality traits, although offensive traits would likely cause them to not become friends with certain people.

R-g-R - interesting analysis! I also thought the characters were too pigeon-holed. For example, Veronica is the successful career gal who is always cheerful, calm, and collected. Even during the horrible plane turbulence, she was busy helped a fellow passenger and never got unglued. I thought her character was a bit contrived and perfect - perfect job, perfect apartment, perfect husband. Amanda is a stereotype of the young military wife and mother who feels lonely and stressed out while her husband is away on deployment. It's true that the characters didn't get together regularly. That actually seemed realistic since some of the women didn't leave near each other or two of them had busy jobs.

Yes. Agree with that being realistic. I then felt it alters the interpretation ‘that we should all have friend types like that’, but maybe it doesn’t...maybe if we have all the friend types it only happens from disparate friends spread far and wide. But then that may mean that not everyone (perhaps not anyone) enjoys their different friend types in a cohesive group...?

bookowlie wrote: ↑05 Feb 2018, 12:51 CommMayo - Although it would be nice for women to have friends who are a range of personality types, I don't think this happens too often. Women often become friends with other women due to shared circumstances - working in the same company, neighbors, shared hobbies such as a monthly book club, their kids play together, their husbands are friends, etc. I don't necessarily think women seek out certain personality traits, although offensive traits would likely cause them to not become friends with certain people.

I think that this actually happens quite often in life whether it is good or bad I am unsure though. There is a kind of institutionalized friendship throughout situations such as schools, neighborhoods, and the workplace as was mentioned. I do think that the friends that become their closest are the ones who they can find one of those strong commonalities with. And I believe that these friendships are usually the strongest of them all in their life too.

rssllue wrote: ↑05 Feb 2018, 23:18

bookowlie wrote: ↑05 Feb 2018, 12:51 CommMayo - Although it would be nice for women to have friends who are a range of personality types, I don't think this happens too often. Women often become friends with other women due to shared circumstances - working in the same company, neighbors, shared hobbies such as a monthly book club, their kids play together, their husbands are friends, etc. I don't necessarily think women seek out certain personality traits, although offensive traits would likely cause them to not become friends with certain people.

I think that this actually happens quite often in life whether it is good or bad I am unsure though. There is a kind of institutionalized friendship throughout situations such as schools, neighborhoods, and the workplace as was mentioned. I do think that the friends that become their closest are the ones who they can find one of those strong commonalities with. And I believe that these friendships are usually the strongest of them all in their life too.

Hi Rssllue...it's good to see you posting. I agree that the friends we become the closest to are the ones we share things in common with, even if these friendships start out as "institutionalized friendships." The things close friends have in common may be similiar general views, a shared hobby, or even personality traits.

As someone who prefers to keep a smaller group of friends, it would be hard for me to seek out certain types of friends based on personality traits. I'm also at an age where I know the types of people I want to surround myself with and would never go against that just for the sake of expanding my circle.

I love the conversations that are happening with this question! I think that many of us are guilty of surrounding ourselves with people who are very much like ourselves...be it because we make friends at work, in clubs, or other self-selecting activities. While I agree that it does seem a bit ridiculous to search out friends that check a box on a mythical list, I do enjoy having friends who are at different stages of their lives or who have lives and experiences that are different from mine. I think it is a way that we can create that village of support around ourselves in a world where that traditional support structure no longer exists.

I'm a 35 year old woman who has multiple education degrees and I work for a County Fire Department (I used to be an environmental consultant). I'm married with no children, but we are looking to create a family soon. I am lucky enough to have a friend who just had a baby and is now staying home, friends who have young children that we entertain at times, and I had a good friend who's daughter is now a sophomore in college. Having friends who are at such different stages of their lives has given me such great perspective and they have been wonderful resources and confidants to me at this stage in my life. I just know that when we have our first child, these friends will be invaluable to my husband and I because they have had such different life experiences that us.

Yes, I follow. I belong to a Catholic community, and we call that transgenerational support. Wisdom from the old and energy from the young. It is very enriching.

MsTri wrote: ↑08 Feb 2018, 09:14 I agree that I don't think women "should" have certain types of female friends. In fact, I don't know that I'd agree that women "should" have any type of female friends, to begin with. I personally haven't had a group of female friends since college over 20 years ago. At this point in time, I have ONE friend and she's only a friend because we're in a band together. We also don't get together outside of band rehearsals, though we do talk via facebook chat almost daily. And I don't feel like my life is lacking because I don't have a group of female friends.

I used to be quite similar to you. Because of my personality, I've always gravitated towards being friends with men. I don't like shopping, make up, or sitting around talking about "female" things. I'm generally better friends with my husband's friends than I am with their wives. I just have always just clicked with men more. It hasn't been until my 30's that I've started gravitating towards more friendships with other women.

I have acquaintances, but no real friends, though I think that having these archetypal friends around might be good for me. Nevertheless, one is lucky if one finds new friends in adulthood, since everyone starts getting set in their ways and more focused on their husbands, careers, and kids at this stage. Friendship like this kind seems to become an afterthought, if at all.

Lest92 wrote: ↑10 Feb 2018, 14:28 I have acquaintances, but no real friends, though I think that having these archetypal friends around might be good for me. Nevertheless, one is lucky if one finds new friends in adulthood, since everyone starts getting set in their ways and more focused on their husbands, careers, and kids at this stage. Friendship like this kind seems to become an afterthought, if at all.

That is so very true! I find it is hard to make friends outside of "work friends," especially if you move as an adult. I mostly became friends with people already acquainted with my husband. It is hard to carve out time to work on personal relationships when careers and life seem to constantly be putting up road barriers.

Perhaps this books helps to remind us to work on fostering those friendships even if we feel like we don't have the time for it.