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This is a discussion topic for the February 2025 Book of the Month, "They Love You Until You Start Thinking for Yourself" by Monica Omorodion Swaida.


What lessons did you learn from "They Love You Until You Start Thinking for Yourself" by Monica Omorodion Swaida?

They might hate you for thinking for yourself but think for yourself anyway because most times, thinking for yourself is what will get you out of the pit. At the end of the day, you are on your own.

KeishaMoore wrote: ↑04 Feb 2025, 05:04 They might hate you for thinking for yourself but think for yourself anyway because most times, thinking for yourself is what will get you out of the pit. At the end of the day, you are on your own.

I think this was the most prominent thing the book says. It was evident, right from the cover page and title. In the end, only what's important to you matters.

A person's background does not determine their future. With determination in working on our passions, we can reach heights we have never imagined. Just like the author, from a humble beginning in Nigeria, she becomes a successful woman in a foreign land.

I don't think that I learned any lessons from this book other than the author is very self-absorbed. It was very superficial and not as in-depth as I thought it would be. The first half of the book was supposed to be about her life, but there was no depth to it. You really did not get to know about her life. The second half was all about her opinion on politics, COVID-19 and racism.

I love books like this by modern immigrants and their love of our country. They talk about how they heard about our country, and they dreamed of coming here. It is thrilling how they come and enjoy their lives in my country. The lesson Americans can learn from these stories will make them proud and thank their ancestors that came many years ago. AND all the people in our country that keep our country great and safe.

The lesson I learned was an odd one, that logic is lost when we hold strong values. How did this come across? The author talks and preaches a lot about love and unity, two admirable ideals that many strive for. However, she then, from what I can surmise by her strong conservative values, votes for a person who exhibits the opposite of those ideals: hate and division. This confused me, until I realized her strongest values centered on personal responsibility and accountability, and on other conservative values. It seems these values override any concern for love and unity.
The lesson that followed from this is that if we spend time arguing with others in an attempt to change their minds, we are wasting time. We should instead focus on those things we have in common, and work toward change with that focus. We can inch ahead, from the standpoint that those who disagree with you can accept some change if it matches some of their values.

Shirley Ann Riddern Labzentis wrote: ↑09 Feb 2025, 09:37 I don't think that I learned any lessons from this book other than the author is very self-absorbed. It was very superficial and not as in-depth as I thought it would be. The first half of the book was supposed to be about her life, but there was no depth to it. You really did not get to know about her life. The second half was all about her opinion on politics, COVID-19 and racism.

I agree with you, I expected something entirely different but I found myself reading a book written by a very critical and judgmental person.

But I did learn something, not feeling sad or bad because people will always think they are right, so I might as well be real and kind.

I am still in the 5th chapter of the book and I really identified with the part where Monica reveals her stance when faced with setbacks: no excuses, but constant learning. Failing or facing obstacles is not the end of the line; but a reminder that we can adjust our route. Another powerful message is the willingness to remove from our daily lives everything that does not add up. Empty activities drain energy and time, and the courage to say “no” to them makes the difference.

I strongly believe that acting in accordance with your own principles (the more ethical the better) is a clear dividing line between succeeding or loosing in life's adversities. The author's determination and clarity of purpose inspires to keep steady when things get tough. Geting distracted by projects that lead nowhere goes easy; However, when we have well-defined values, the chance of falling or giving up before seeing results decreases.

Until now I've been invited to reflect on self-leadership and discipline. And I like how she (almost) out of moralist judgements doesn't give in to excuses, turning her failures (and she did had them!) into fuel.

Monica's story showed me firsthand that challenges are inevitable, but it's your response to them that truly matters. Seeing how she faced so many obstacles as an immigrant and kept going really highlighted the power of resilience and how you can develop it over time. It's not about avoiding hardship, but about learning to bounce back stronger.

I learned the importance of resilience, independent thinking, and staying true to oneself, even when it means losing acceptance. The book also reinforced the need for open-mindedness and challenging societal norms to create personal and collective growth.

I learned a lot from this book, things I agree with and those I don't. What stands out for me is you have no excuse to take a chance at success. If you believe in whatever you set your mind to do, you can achieve it. The author exemplified this all through the book.

One important lesson I took away from this book is that true freedom and happiness comes from embracing your individuality and thinking for yourself, even if that means going against the status quo.

There were several lessons I learnt from reading this book and the principal of all is that independence is liberating.

Although Monica was doing well at home with her parents, she didn't fully harness the strength of her potential until she tasted freedom.

Additionally freedom can be destructive if not managed properly. The whole of Monica's journey detailed this and it was refreshing to read.

One major lesson I learnt from the book is the importance of self-determination. Monica's journey shows that success often comes from taking risks, embracing challenges, and continuously learning. She didn’t let setbacks define her; instead, she used them as stepping stones to grow.