Shameless Addiction by Tracie Lashay

[asmith]

I'll split my review up into two sections: the writing and the story line. For the writing, there were a LOT of grammatical errors and jumbled up sentences where it looks like the writer started to write one thing, but changed her mind and didn't erase what she started. Like on pg 40, “Girl what are you came over here for?” and “So is how my love doing anyway?” There were also a few words used incorrectly, like to and too and threw and through. There was an over use of names consecutively where it seemed more fitting to use pronouns after the writer makes it clear that she is talking about Alonzo. Some words were too “big” for the sentence they were used in, for example “I fought back my smile as I retrieved the gift and opened it”, I felt like the author was using a Thesaurus to find bigger words in fear of her sentences being too simple. The writing often changed from past tense to present tense throughout the book. I felt like everyone in the book had enough of a description for readers to create an image of them in their heads, except the main character Carmen. The only description we're really given about Carmen is that she's extraordinarily beautiful. I felt like “brother” was over used when referring to black men and there was a bit too much political correctness when describing people by their race. It seems like simply using black and white would have flowed much better with the rest of the writing style rather than African-American and Caucasian. I felt like there was a major over use of phrases like “he pleads” and “I informed him” after the character speaks, which takes the focus off of what the characters actually said. It seemed like the author was afraid of sounding too repetitive by using “he said,” “she said,” and “I said” too many times, but they cause much less of a distraction. The readers are left to assume a lot about the story line. For example, “CSU” is used every single time the author is referring to the college that Carmen, Alonzo and Patricia go to, but not once were we told what it means. I'm assuming that's Chicago State University? There were also many times where things were very under described, like how “He protected himself and put himself inside of me.” While anyone would know that means he put a condom on, readers kind of rely on the author to make that clear and give us the visual of him putting a condom on. Otherwise, I'm sitting here reading and visualizing him grabbing a sword or maybe putting some body armor on. Physical appearances and actions weren't as descriptive as they could have been. The person who was speaking was mixed up a few times, like when Toya tells Carmen she almost had a kid with Alonzo, the writing follows as '“Almost?” I asked. “Yeah, he told me it is not what he wants and he paid for me to get an abortion” I revealed.' Who almost had his kid and got an abortion? The book says Carmen was the one who said it. Then '“You let a man make you abort your own flesh and blood!” She said but Toya said nothing.' Who said? Patricia, maybe?

As for the story line, within the first 11 pages, I had already decided that I didn't like the main character, Carmen. She comes off as very naïve and conceited, especially when she talks about Patricia who is supposed to be her best friend. If I were Patricia and knew the thoughts Carmen had about my appearance, we wouldn't be friends. There were a LOT of inconsistencies, Carmen says her birthday is on Christmas day twice in the beginning of the book, but then in chapter 9, Carmen receives a call from Patricia and her mom on December 31 for her birthday...and neither of those characters seem like the type to miss her birthday by 6 days. The characters Jasmine and Yazmine are mixed up twice in the book. First, Alonzo's dad asks Abdul if he has spoken to Jasmine, but then Yazmine is Abdul's baby mama, and Jasmine is Alonzo's ex, then at the end of the book, Alonzo gets Yazmine pregnant. In chapter 10, Carmen pulls up outside of “Patricia and Kevin's house,” who is Kevin? Patricia married Devon. I felt like Carmen was extremely weak when it came to her interactions with Alonzo and as stated before, very naïve. I couldn't wrap my head around her going back to him over and over and over again with how much of an asshole he was. I honestly wanted to reach through the pages and slap both of them. Even with how little of a fan I am of Carmen, I still hope she and Nick work things out in the second book only because I like happy endings, but at the same time, I feel bad for him having to deal with such an immature girl. As for Alonzo, he can go jump off a cliff. I've never read about a more controlling, selfish and needy asshole in all history of assholes that only exist in books.

With that said, the story line was good enough for me to be annoyed that I was left hanging and for me to want to read the second book, I hope that a better editor is hired for it though, because the one who “edited” this book didn't do her job. I also hope that the author gets more descriptive and consistent with the next book.