Official Review: The Spoiled Alpha by K.D. Coste

Laura Lee · Post by **Laura Lee** » 03 Jan 2020, 14:36

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "The Spoiled Alpha" by K.D. Coste.]

1 out of 4 stars

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The Spoiled Alpha by K.D. Coste is, in many ways, a classic romance. Damon meets Charlie and immediately knows she’s the girl for him. After a whirlwind romance, the two marry and live happily ever after.

This is not, however, your typical romance by any stretch of the imagination. Everything in the story consistently illustrates why The Spoiled Alpha is the perfect title for this insta-love, 27-page short story. Damon is spoiled. He yells and throws tantrums. He’s jealous. He’s petulant. He’s controlling. This, not the relationship, is the theme of the story.

Some readers may view such behavior as a sign of love and devotion. Personally, I don't, but as a reviewer I do not count down for differences in personal preference. However, as a reviewer, I feel obligated to let potential readers know the degree to which these character traits dominate the story. There is no character development. There is no plot advancement. Everything centers around Damon’s jealousy, first with his own mother, and later with Charlie.

As explained on page 18, Damon “wasn’t use [sic] to not getting what he wanted and when he didn’t, he pouted and threw a tantrum until [Charlie] agreed to his demands.”

After learning that Charlie had spent time with his family while he was out of town on a business trip, Damon gets very upset because "for two hours her attention had been on someone else that was not him” (page 18).

Apparently, jealous control is true devotion. Damon then attempts to tie Charlie to him by deliberately trying to get her pregnant. He even goes so far as to purchase a second wedding dress because he doesn’t want anyone to see what is “his” in the strapless wedding gown Charlie had selected. This is the type of relationship that, when you realize how toxic it is and you try to break up with the guy, he comes back at night and murders you.

There are some women who are attracted to that sort of extremely controlling, petulant behavior, who find it “cute” when a man pouts, and who think that jealousy equates to love. That is the audience who would enjoy this book. Just be aware going in that this is the type of “hero” you will find when reading The Spoiled Alpha.

Personal preferences aside, however, there are still many problems with this story. The cover is beautifully and professionally done, suggesting that the story is of an equal quality. However, there is nothing in this story to commend it. In addition to any lack of character development, every single page is riddled with multiple typos, formatting and punctuation errors, and even missing words. It does not appear that any sort of editing has been done. The point-of-view changes frequently, making it difficult to follow.

While tropes can be fun, this story is packed with over-used ones. Charlie is an inexperienced virgin but, apparently, she can deep-throat like a pro. Damon’s infantilizing treatment of Charlie (cutting her pancake into bite-sized pieces for her) is presented as treating her like a “queen.”

There are also overtones of sexual perversion. Damon is actually jealous of his own father. This is a recurrent theme throughout the story. Damon doesn’t even like his own father touching or being around his mother. This theme is repeated in the epilogue where their daughter has the same over-the-top jealousy as Damon. As directly quoted from page 27:

"Damon, looked at his 5-year-old daughter, god he loved her but she was so possessive when it came to him. God forbid if her brother even came near him let alone her mother. She didn’t like anyone looking at him let alone touching him. It had been a struggle when they had started having her sleep in her own room, the tantrum had been of epic proportions."

Then it gets really weird: "The problem was she refused to stay there even then. Every night she would somehow sneak into their room then proceed to try to push poor Charlie off their bed. The issue was he didn’t know how to reprimand his little girl especially when she looked at him with her big brown doe eyes so much like her mothers."

Being so jealous of your own mother that you would sneak into bed with Daddy and try to push Mommy out of bed reeks of an inappropriate relationship between father and daughter, just as portrayed earlier between Damon and his mother.

As much as I appreciate the effort it takes to conceive, plot, and write a story through to completion, I cannot give this story anything more than 1 out of 4 stars. Personal preferences regarding what constitutes true love aside, the multiple typos and missing words on every single page, the switched pronouns, the lack of proper formatting, as well as the lack of any character or plot development preclude a higher score.

******
The Spoiled Alpha
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Bianka Walter · Post by **Bianka Walter** » 08 Jan 2020, 13:10

This actually sounds horrendous. I think you can carry your personal preferences to the rest of the world, some of this stuff is just not right.
This is a great review

Laura Lee · Post by **Laura Lee** » 08 Jan 2020, 13:17

Bianka Walter wrote: ↑08 Jan 2020, 13:10 This actually sounds horrendous. I think you can carry your personal preferences to the rest of the world, some of this stuff is just not right.
This is a great review

Thanks, Bianka. I know it takes effort to write a story and so I feel bad giving poor reviews, but if nothing else, an author should do a thorough job of editing if he/she wants the story to be read and enjoyed. And, as you said, some things are just not right. Thanks for taking the time to leave a response!

Stephanie Elizabeth · Post by **Stephanie Elizabeth** » 08 Jan 2020, 13:17

Wow, I am sorry you had to soldier through this book! Thank you for your honest review!

Laura Lee · Post by **Laura Lee** » 08 Jan 2020, 13:21

Stephanie Elizabeth wrote: ↑08 Jan 2020, 13:17 Wow, I am sorry you had to soldier through this book! Thank you for your honest review!

Thanks for stopping by, Stephanie Elizabeth! I love romances but yes, was disappointed in this one. Personal preferences aside, it desperately needs editing.

mmm17 · Post by **mmm17** » 08 Jan 2020, 16:00

Wow! It must have been hard finishing this book. The character traits you mentioned are annoying, indeed! Your review was great, though!

Laura Lee · Post by **Laura Lee** » 08 Jan 2020, 16:08

mmm17 wrote: ↑08 Jan 2020, 16:00 Wow! It must have been hard finishing this book. The character traits you mentioned are annoying, indeed! Your review was great, though!

Thanks for stopping by, mmm17! Yes, it was hard to plow through. Editing is so important!

Miller56 · Post by **Miller56** » 08 Jan 2020, 20:16

Thank you for the review. This book sounds awful and difficult to get through. This sounds like a book I would pass on even if the grammar and spelling were fixed.

Laura Lee · Post by **Laura Lee** » 08 Jan 2020, 20:38

Miller56 wrote: ↑08 Jan 2020, 20:16 Thank you for the review. This book sounds awful and difficult to get through. This sounds like a book I would pass on even if the grammar and spelling were fixed.

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I don't want to discourage the writer as it takes commitment to write and finish a story, but it does need finishing: edit! Edit! Edit!

Stephanie Runyon · Post by **Stephanie Runyon** » 11 Jan 2020, 07:34

I have been in a relationship like that and it is one nightmare after another. I am happy I got away from it. From your description, this book needs a complete overhaul to make it an enjoyable read. I definitely avoid it though.

Laura Lee · Post by **Laura Lee** » 11 Jan 2020, 08:13

Mounce574 wrote: ↑11 Jan 2020, 07:34 I have been in a relationship like that and it is one nightmare after another. I am happy I got away from it. From your description, this book needs a complete overhaul to make it an enjoyable read. I definitely avoid it though.

Wow. I'm so glad you escaped. You're right: such levels of control would be one nightmare after another. Like I said in the review, it's the sort of relationship where, when you try to break up with the guy, he returns and murders you. Glad you were able to get away!!

Post by **Alice Heritage** » 11 Jan 2020, 15:47

Not a lot right with this one, it seems! Except perhaps that it is concise, going from insta-love to a daughter in 27 pages! I enjoyed your insightful review, and you were very constructive in the circumstances.

Laura Lee · Post by **Laura Lee** » 11 Jan 2020, 16:08

ButterscotchCherrie wrote: ↑11 Jan 2020, 15:47 Not a lot right with this one, it seems! Except perhaps that it is concise, going from insta-love to a daughter in 27 pages! I enjoyed your insightful review, and you were very constructive in the circumstances.

Thank you, ButterscotchCherrie. I appreciate your taking the time to leave a response.