Review: Keep Me Safe by Maya Banks
Posted: 19 Oct 2014, 23:15
Someone, somewhere recommended I read “Keep Me Safe” by Maya Banks when they found out I love alpha males in full protect mode. I started this book with great enthusiasm, the plot on the blurb sounded awesome and right up my alley.
Please, for the love of all that is yummy and fun about erotic romance, don’t make the same mistake I did. This book is terrible. It is so terrible, I ….I did the unthinkable. Have you ever watched Gordon Ramsay on “Hell’s Kitchen” when someone makes something so god-awful he spits it into the trash can? That is what I did with this book – and thank god I stopped before I hurled. I couldn’t even bear to finish it. You know if you find yourself rolling your eyes and saying “Really? Oh my god, shut up!” out loud at the heroine several times in the story, it is not going well. This is the first review I have ever done where I did not finish the book, so keep that in mind. Fortunately this is not an "official" review!
Again, do NOT let the plot fool you. The plot is awesome. Ramie reluctantly helps save an innocent young woman who has been kidnapped and is being raped and tortured. She does this through a supernatural talent that allows her to sort of “merge” consciousness with anyone when she touches them or an item that is theirs. As a result, the young woman is rescued by her three over-protective brothers, and they all consider themselves in debt to Ramie. But they can’t find her to repay their debt. Ramie is on the run from a murderer who is stalking her through a psychic connection. For over a year she runs, until she is cornered, exhausted, and beaten. Then (after a year of running) she calls up the one man who owes her a debt of life and insists he pay up by protecting her.
Enter Caleb Devereaux, a strong solid alpha male who flies instantly to her rescue, whisking her to his family’s house for safety. After that, it becomes a game of trying to keep Ramie and everyone else alive while they hunt down the killer. An excellent plot, full of all sorts of wonderfully delicious potential. But it all ends up terribly, terribly wrong.
Where shall I start? Let’s start with the worst part about this book, the “heroine”. Ramie should have been named “Victim Sue”. She is an orphan – check. She has supernatural powers – check. Using those supernatural powers helps others but hurts her – check. She is totally on her own – check. She is constantly in emotional pain – check. Ramie doesn’t drown in self-pity. She wallows in it. She bathes in it on a daily basis. She cries or has nervous break downs or panic attacks more than she eats. It is the most obnoxious thing I have ever seen in a book. It is never good when you find yourself hoping the murderer catches the heroine and kills her so she will just shut up and stop whining. I have heard rumors he does catch up with her and it gets pretty bloody, but I have not read that myself. I didn’t make it that far. I was starting to heave.
As for the hero….well….what can I say? Caleb felt as if he were an erotic fantasy plastic ken doll. As if the writer went through a checklist. Strong, single, and financially powerful? Check. Guilt complex towards the heroine? Check. Protective instincts? Check. Sexually interested in the heroine? Check. It all felt…arranged. There was no life to him, no originality. Most of the time where we were reading his viewpoint it was “poor, poor Ramie”. Of course most the time we were reading her viewpoint, it was “poor, poor me.”
Maybe it gets better halfway through the book. I hope so. I stopped at the halfway point, I just couldn’t endure any more of it. If you feel braver than I, good luck! You are going to need it…
Please, for the love of all that is yummy and fun about erotic romance, don’t make the same mistake I did. This book is terrible. It is so terrible, I ….I did the unthinkable. Have you ever watched Gordon Ramsay on “Hell’s Kitchen” when someone makes something so god-awful he spits it into the trash can? That is what I did with this book – and thank god I stopped before I hurled. I couldn’t even bear to finish it. You know if you find yourself rolling your eyes and saying “Really? Oh my god, shut up!” out loud at the heroine several times in the story, it is not going well. This is the first review I have ever done where I did not finish the book, so keep that in mind. Fortunately this is not an "official" review!
Again, do NOT let the plot fool you. The plot is awesome. Ramie reluctantly helps save an innocent young woman who has been kidnapped and is being raped and tortured. She does this through a supernatural talent that allows her to sort of “merge” consciousness with anyone when she touches them or an item that is theirs. As a result, the young woman is rescued by her three over-protective brothers, and they all consider themselves in debt to Ramie. But they can’t find her to repay their debt. Ramie is on the run from a murderer who is stalking her through a psychic connection. For over a year she runs, until she is cornered, exhausted, and beaten. Then (after a year of running) she calls up the one man who owes her a debt of life and insists he pay up by protecting her.
Enter Caleb Devereaux, a strong solid alpha male who flies instantly to her rescue, whisking her to his family’s house for safety. After that, it becomes a game of trying to keep Ramie and everyone else alive while they hunt down the killer. An excellent plot, full of all sorts of wonderfully delicious potential. But it all ends up terribly, terribly wrong.
Where shall I start? Let’s start with the worst part about this book, the “heroine”. Ramie should have been named “Victim Sue”. She is an orphan – check. She has supernatural powers – check. Using those supernatural powers helps others but hurts her – check. She is totally on her own – check. She is constantly in emotional pain – check. Ramie doesn’t drown in self-pity. She wallows in it. She bathes in it on a daily basis. She cries or has nervous break downs or panic attacks more than she eats. It is the most obnoxious thing I have ever seen in a book. It is never good when you find yourself hoping the murderer catches the heroine and kills her so she will just shut up and stop whining. I have heard rumors he does catch up with her and it gets pretty bloody, but I have not read that myself. I didn’t make it that far. I was starting to heave.
As for the hero….well….what can I say? Caleb felt as if he were an erotic fantasy plastic ken doll. As if the writer went through a checklist. Strong, single, and financially powerful? Check. Guilt complex towards the heroine? Check. Protective instincts? Check. Sexually interested in the heroine? Check. It all felt…arranged. There was no life to him, no originality. Most of the time where we were reading his viewpoint it was “poor, poor Ramie”. Of course most the time we were reading her viewpoint, it was “poor, poor me.”
Maybe it gets better halfway through the book. I hope so. I stopped at the halfway point, I just couldn’t endure any more of it. If you feel braver than I, good luck! You are going to need it…