Official Review: Heart of the Billionaire : The Billionai...
Posted: 10 Aug 2016, 21:05
[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Heart of the Billionaire : The Billionaire's Desire" by J K Ales.]
2 out of 4 stars
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In Heart of the Billionaire: The Billionaire’s Desire, J. K. Ales throws a CEO and his assistant into an awkward situation following a sexual tryst. Our protagonist, Annabelle, is an ambitious woman who often feels her demanding boss, Jack, doesn’t appreciate her. One evening, tension runs high as they both lose control over their lust. This event leads to confusion on Annabelle’s part - what does Jack really want from her? Is she one of his many or his only one? As she navigates through her office life, she finds herself entangled in complicated situations because of Jack.
One of the most important characteristics of a novella, I find, is developing the characters within a shorter time frame than the average novel. In this 64 page story, Anna and Jack come across as static characters without room to grow but the plot surprises with a few action-packed twists. Due to these situations, Jack develops into more than the typical billionaire and Anna becomes an endearing protagonist by the end. The antagonists, whose names I won't mention, are a shock but are quite realistic. The other minor characters provide depth to the novella which I appreciate greatly.
That being said, these character changes come from great patience on the reader’s part. While reading through, it’s difficult to get past the numerous run-on sentences, grammatical errors and bad formatting of dialogue. Unfortunately, the first chapter’s conflict is weak and the result of it – a heated sex scene – isn’t as effective as it could be. The basic dialogue and an absence of diverse vocabulary could have been avoided by hiring a good editor.
Although simple vocabulary doesn’t necessarily equal bad writing, the vocabulary in the story decreases the sexual tension that this erotic novella needs to pull the reader in. Only the second of the three erotic scenes has the potential to make a deep impression. Stronger phrases and cleaner syntax could’ve made this story effective as there are too many ‘and’s in sentences throughout the novella. The sentence structures are poor and too many begin with ‘Ana…” or “Jack…”. They distract significantly from the plot. This inattention to detail hinders the rest of the scenes and it’s only because of the plot that I read on.
In consideration of the cons of the novella, I rate this story 2 out of 4 stars. Because it is such a short story, the bad grammar harms it more than it would a full length novel. It’s the plot and the endearing protagonist that are the redeeming factors. If you’re looking for a very quick read without much care to grammar structures, then this is a story I’d recommend. To the author, I strongly, strongly, suggest having a professional editor as they are trained to pick up the tiniest error and this story can benefit greatly from this. But don’t let this deter you from writing more novellas or novels because the ideas are solid; it’s the execution that needs work.
******
Heart of the Billionaire : The Billionaire's Desire
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2 out of 4 stars
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In Heart of the Billionaire: The Billionaire’s Desire, J. K. Ales throws a CEO and his assistant into an awkward situation following a sexual tryst. Our protagonist, Annabelle, is an ambitious woman who often feels her demanding boss, Jack, doesn’t appreciate her. One evening, tension runs high as they both lose control over their lust. This event leads to confusion on Annabelle’s part - what does Jack really want from her? Is she one of his many or his only one? As she navigates through her office life, she finds herself entangled in complicated situations because of Jack.
One of the most important characteristics of a novella, I find, is developing the characters within a shorter time frame than the average novel. In this 64 page story, Anna and Jack come across as static characters without room to grow but the plot surprises with a few action-packed twists. Due to these situations, Jack develops into more than the typical billionaire and Anna becomes an endearing protagonist by the end. The antagonists, whose names I won't mention, are a shock but are quite realistic. The other minor characters provide depth to the novella which I appreciate greatly.
That being said, these character changes come from great patience on the reader’s part. While reading through, it’s difficult to get past the numerous run-on sentences, grammatical errors and bad formatting of dialogue. Unfortunately, the first chapter’s conflict is weak and the result of it – a heated sex scene – isn’t as effective as it could be. The basic dialogue and an absence of diverse vocabulary could have been avoided by hiring a good editor.
Although simple vocabulary doesn’t necessarily equal bad writing, the vocabulary in the story decreases the sexual tension that this erotic novella needs to pull the reader in. Only the second of the three erotic scenes has the potential to make a deep impression. Stronger phrases and cleaner syntax could’ve made this story effective as there are too many ‘and’s in sentences throughout the novella. The sentence structures are poor and too many begin with ‘Ana…” or “Jack…”. They distract significantly from the plot. This inattention to detail hinders the rest of the scenes and it’s only because of the plot that I read on.
In consideration of the cons of the novella, I rate this story 2 out of 4 stars. Because it is such a short story, the bad grammar harms it more than it would a full length novel. It’s the plot and the endearing protagonist that are the redeeming factors. If you’re looking for a very quick read without much care to grammar structures, then this is a story I’d recommend. To the author, I strongly, strongly, suggest having a professional editor as they are trained to pick up the tiniest error and this story can benefit greatly from this. But don’t let this deter you from writing more novellas or novels because the ideas are solid; it’s the execution that needs work.
******
Heart of the Billionaire : The Billionaire's Desire
View: on Bookshelves
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