Official Review: Risen: The Accession and Devolution of Y...

GKCfan · Post by **GKCfan** » 17 Jan 2017, 06:18

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Risen: The Accession and Devolution of Yahweh Ben Yahweh - Miami's Urban Chronicles Volume I" by Thomas Barr Jr..]

2 out of 4 stars

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Official Review: Risen: Miami’s Urban Chronicles Volume I, by Thomas Barr

How does a young man with an interest in religion become the leader of an incredibly wealthy, powerful, and ruthless cult? Risen: Miami’s Urban Chronicles Volume I is the story of Chauncey Miller, a young man who begins a spiritual journey, which leads him through a few different spiritual and ideological venues, until he develops a taste for temporal power and eventually becomes massively corrupt and influential as El Cid, a leader who both helps and destroys a community.

There are a lot of interesting touches to the story, such as watching Chauncey’s origins and influences, learning how different religions and perspectives shaped him, and how he gradually decided that he wished to become a man of power and influence, and took steps to achieve his goals. One of the best subplots is the creation of the Magnificent Seven, a group of enforcers who carry staffs, machetes, and maintain control within the cult, and also murder people who cross them.

Unfortunately, this manuscript has not been professionally edited. On average, there are about two errors per page, ranging from singular subjects being matched with plural verbs and vice-versa, to misspelled words (such as “wiped” instead of “whipped”), and various capitalization mistakes. Most of the errors are the type that are not usually caught by spellcheck, so the book needs to be thoroughly combed over for mistakes.

This book is titled “Volume I,” and I have no idea what future installments in Barr’s series will discuss, or whether or not characters from this book will return in later books. It seems like all of the narratives will revolve around the greater metropolitan area of Miami, but I do not know if the use of “Risen” in the title indicates that all of the stories will revolve around religion or if they will tell different stories about urban Miami.

I think that this book needs some revisions and expansion. One disappointment is that there simply is not enough insight into some of the characters. It would have been nice to see a lot more as to what some characters were thinking, as well as more on the members of the cult and why they joined, stayed, and allowed themselves to endure such unpleasant indignities. Overall, this book is a solid draft, with an intriguing storyline, but its central character needs to be further fleshed out, the motivations of the minor characters need expansion, and the prose needs editing. Throughout the book, so much of the narrative is merely told when it really should be shown. I think that Barr has talent and could potentially make this a truly compelling novel, but it just needs more detail and polishing.

I give this book two out of four stars.

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Risen: The Accession and Devolution of Yahweh Ben Yahweh - Miami's Urban Chronicles Volume I
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