Review of The Square Grouper (Journey's End)

[John Rehg]

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "The Square Grouper (Journey's End)" by joe vitulli.]

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1 out of 5 stars

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The author weaves an intricate tale of two people, Damien and Catherine, as they go through life looking for love in The Square Grouper (Journey’s End). The story jumps back and forth between the two, highlighting their struggles to overcome the setbacks in their lives and find that special someone.

Damien, a Vietnam veteran, travels from Maine to Florida, losing friends along the way and saving several people from harm while fighting the demons in his mind.

Catherine begins life in Virginia, marries Russell, and then deals with the troubles he brings to their marriage.

At one point on his journey south, Damien sees Catherine and is attracted to her. Later, when circumstances bring her to Florida, the two unite to complete the romantic quest they were both on.

The story presents the two protagonists as luckless and downtrodden in an attempt to highlight the change in their fortunes once they connect in Florida.

Several issues make this book a difficult read. First, the sentence structure prevents an easy flow to the story. The author uses sentence fragments and commas liberally, which creates a choppy feeling and slows the pace of the narrative.

Second, the author uses the third person omniscient point of view to delve into the characters’ heads immediately after they speak. In many cases, this repeating of the feeling or intent of the dialogue is redundant. It also forces the reader to pay attention to ending dialogue quotes to recognize the change from speaking to thinking. Revealing the thoughts of minor characters does not add anything significant to the story.

Finally, misspellings, particularly of people’s names, and odd capitalization, for example, the ‛i’ when it’s the second letter of a name, like MIke, pull the reader out of the story. The book would benefit from a deep edit and review of sentence structure.

Unfortunately, the two main characters are not particularly likable, and their responses to some of the situations they find themselves in do not evoke empathy in the reader.

Due to the unsympathetic characters, the sentence structure problem, the editing issues, and the slow pace of the story, I rate this 1 out of 5 stars.

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The Square Grouper (Journey's End)
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[Shaniz Tobiaz]

This would be a great book if it underwent another round of editing, but still its a must read for me.

[Pearl Flourish]

It sounds like the story had potential, but the writing issues and unlikable characters made it a tough read. A good edit might have made a big difference.

[George Bastem]

Sounds like a story with potential, but the writing and character development seem to hold it back. A strong edit might have made a big difference.