Causality

Use this forum to post short stories that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links.
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Gannon
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Re: Causality

Post by Gannon »

Howdy there Tony. I have only just read your short story and everything has been covered. Seriously, it is an amazing short story. I think you could send a copy to David Mitchell and he would lament, "I wish I had written it". It's brilliant and I have only had one quick reading of it, I will give it multiple reads of course. Truly sensational. :)

Ps - sorry for the multiple superlatives but it really does deserve them. :dance:
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. - Mother Teresa
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DATo
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Post by DATo »

Gannon wrote:Howdy there Tony. I have only just read your short story and everything has been covered. Seriously, it is an amazing short story. I think you could send a copy to David Mitchell and he would lament, "I wish I had written it". It's brilliant and I have only had one quick reading of it, I will give it multiple reads of course. Truly sensational. :)

Ps - sorry for the multiple superlatives but it really does deserve them. :dance:
Gannon, you are good for my ego, but I seriously don't think that David Mitchell has anything to fear from me *LOL*

I am very grateful and humbled by your kind words.
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright
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KatherineEWall
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Post by KatherineEWall »

Love the juxtaposition of the concise art of pool and the movement between the lives of the different characters. If there was one thing I would change it is letting us know that it is Terry's last thought. It takes away from the impact of the accident. Otherwise, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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DATo
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Post by DATo »

KatherineEWall wrote:Love the juxtaposition of the concise art of pool and the movement between the lives of the different characters. If there was one thing I would change it is letting us know that it is Terry's last thought. It takes away from the impact of the accident. Otherwise, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Thanks so much for your response Kate! I see where you are coming from but my intent with that comment was to convey to the reader that the accident about to be described was fatal. This was intended to lend greater ironic weight to the comment made by Kim's wife later - "You wouldn't believe how little was the cost."

I intend to rewrite my stories someday and I have added your comment to my original draft for future consideration.

Once again, thanks for your response and suggestions. I am happy to know that you enjoyed the story! [:- )
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright
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