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My Incompetent Muse

by

DATo

Yes, I believe in muses, in fact I have one who stops in often. He looks a lot like Clarence from It's A Wonderful Life, and he is equally inept.

He offers premises which are totally ridiculous and in explaining to him why the premises he recommends are ridiculous I offer counter-premises which suggest promise. For my last writing project he suggested that the story be set in a bar or a grass hut in the Lesser Antilles. "I CAN'T DO THAT YOU IDIOT!" I scream. "The story is about an 18th century German luthier. There are no German luthiers in the Lower Antilles!" As I begin to develop the plot he suggests that the main character do something which is totally stupid ... "WHAT?" I exclaim, "IF I HAVE THE MAIN CHARACTER DO WHAT YOU SAY AT THIS POINT IN THE STORY IT WILL RUIN THE PLOT!" I then proceed to create a more plausible path to the execution of the climax.

He just sits there taking great delight in correcting my spelling and grammar mistakes and doing his best to make me feel ridiculous. I HATE THAT! So I make it a point of honor to preempt his corrections by taking care to think through the phrasing of what I write carefully. I just love to hit the backspace key repeatedly just as he opens his mouth to point out a correction and watch his cherubic sneer melt in disappointment.

Invariably, when I complete a story, he perks up and comments upon what a great job "WE" did. He then smiles, winks, and disappears in a cloud of self-satisfaction.

Now, if I could only figure out where that bell-ringing sound is coming from.

/

This is cute and your quote is hilarious! I have experienced similar injuries myself

Frances019 wrote: ↑04 Apr 2020, 12:08 This is cute and your quote is hilarious! I have experienced similar injuries myself

I haven't gotten a comment on one of my stories in a very long time. Thank you so much for responding ...

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Here are two more by Steven Wright

1) I have a switch on my wall that doesn't do anything. Every time I pass by it I flip it on and off. I got a call from a woman in Germany the other day. She said, "Cut it out."

2) I lost one of my socks so I called Information. She told me it was behind the sofa. She was right.

I love this short story. I
Took a while for me to understand the entire concept, but when I did I really appreciated the entire thing.

I believe I have this muse too, and mine's a she.

Ekabajong wrote: ↑14 Jun 2020, 18:47 I love this short story. I
Took a while for me to understand the entire concept, but when I did I really appreciated the entire thing.

I believe I have this muse too, and mine's a she.

Thanks Ekabajong. It's always nice to know that someone appreciates the things I write. I have written what I think are better short stories but they are WAY back in the history of this thread. I just sort of zipped this one off when the idea came to mind. All of my stories have "surprise endings", this one is the realization that the narrator hasn't a clue that the muse was deliberately messing with his mind to irritate him and thus get the best out of him if only to prove the muse wrong. Once again, many thanks for responding to my story!

Such a cute story!! Hopefully he takes a long time to get his wings, so you can write a lot more stories!!