Jokes, Funny, And Happy Things Thread

PashaRu · Post by **PashaRu** » 05 Dec 2014, 20:52

Fanny Farmer's candy, fresh from the farmer's fanny.

Anyone remember that one from grade school???

rssllue · Post by **rssllue** » 05 Dec 2014, 20:52

Oh boy.

ALynnPowers · Post by **ALynnPowers** » 05 Dec 2014, 20:54

PashaRu wrote:Fanny Farmer's candy, fresh from the farmer's fanny.

Anyone remember that one from grade school???

Oh my!!! Don't know that one!

TammyO · Post by **TammyO** » 09 Dec 2014, 20:56

ALynnPowers wrote:
TammyO wrote:
ALynnPowers wrote:I don't like Christmas but I will do my best to be happy about bit this year. I live new year's though. No clue why

WHY Don't You Like Christmas Alynn??? Its Such a happy time.. I have an idea, listen to some Christmas songs. That should lift your spirit. Also, if shopping doesn't make you happy try doing something nice for someone who is less fortunate. I usually pick a name from the Angel tree , that makes me happy. Just knowing a child is going to be happy for Christmas is truly a great feeling. TRY IT! LET ME KNOW WHAT HAPPENS

(Tammy tickles Alynn making her laugh histerically)
Sorry! I didn't see this post until just now! Whoops! I am slow in the head! And actually... I don't like Christmas because of some bad memories... my oldest sister actually passed away just a couple days before Christmas about 9 years ago, so that year, Christmas was spent at a funeral home, and it was just not pleasant. Ugh.

But anyway... this is a site for HAPPY THINGS!!!! Not sad things, right?!?! So I am happy! I have candy this year! Yummmm!!!!

Alynn so sorry for your lost.. I'm sure your sister would not want you to hate Christmas forever though. So, try to enjoy it-- if not for yourself do it for your sister! Thanks for sharing that. I know it was not easy to do so.

Aivlys · Post by **Aivlys** » 09 Dec 2014, 22:13

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate
father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.
Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be
here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened
to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he
said, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting
you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know
babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat".

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch,
and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun.
You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try
several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure
you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and
out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby
pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh, my word!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother
was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done
right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The
mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and
when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels
began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,
uh...equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we
can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big
to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted

ALynnPowers · Post by **ALynnPowers** » 11 Dec 2014, 01:44

Oh my!

Skillian · Post by **Skillian** » 11 Dec 2014, 03:00

ALynnPowers · Post by **ALynnPowers** » 11 Dec 2014, 05:11

That makes me think of the time I caught my sister drinking Santa's milk!!!

Aivlys · Post by **Aivlys** » 11 Dec 2014, 18:53

: It's always the little ones...; 10847931_768967816474232_3023054210653395312_n.jpg (28.1 KiB) Viewed 431 times

Skillian wrote:

Lol.

rssllue · Post by **rssllue** » 11 Dec 2014, 22:55

Awwww

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 12 Dec 2014, 20:51

True story. My youngest son when he was about 7 or 8 came to me and said come look at this. I went to the front room window and Chris said look at those dogs. There were two dogs doing what dogs do and I didnt know what to exactly say. I finally told Chris this. "The dog in back has sore front feet and the dog in front is letting him rest his feet on her. Isnt that nice of the front dog?" Chris said with the wisdom of seven year olds, "Aw Dad, there making puppies." He knew the score.

ALynnPowers · Post by **ALynnPowers** » 12 Dec 2014, 20:55

Bighuey wrote:True story. My youngest son when he was about 7 or 8 came to me and said come look at this. I went to the front room window and Chris said look at those dogs. There were two dogs doing what dogs do and I didnt know what to exactly say. I finally told Chris this. "The dog in back has sore front feet and the dog in front is letting him rest his feet on her. Isnt that nice of the front dog?" Chris said with the wisdom of seven year olds, "Aw Dad, there making puppies." He knew the score.

I would have died of embarrassment... this is why I shouldn't have children...

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 12 Dec 2014, 21:11

Kids are a lot more savvy than we give them credit for. When my oldest boy was about 14 or 15 I overheard him talking to his cousin who was the same age, swapping lies about all their conquests on the female population in graphic detail. If either one of them saw the real thing they probably would have run the other way.

ALynnPowers · Post by **ALynnPowers** » 12 Dec 2014, 21:38

Bighuey wrote:Kids are a lot more savvy than we give them credit for. When my oldest boy was about 14 or 15 I overheard him talking to his cousin who was the same age, swapping lies about all their conquests on the female population in graphic detail. If either one of them saw the real thing they probably would have run the other way.

I'm sure... did he ever find out that you knew about his conversation with his counsin??

That probably would have embarrassed him just as well