Anyone want to post their poems for others enjoyment?

knightss · Post by **knightss** » 17 Jan 2007, 20:38

Sweetheart

Without a Valentine
For the first time in years
the realization of all my fears

Chewing on a Sweetheart, alone
nowhere to go but home

Suddenly at a loss of breath
I think I'm chocking to death!

In a fit of panic
I cough and taste something sweet
low and behold it's my little candy treat

I spit,
the heart's wet and soaked
"i love you"
chocking on the words I never spoke.

i just wrote this today while selling everyone Sweethearts at work.. the thought came to my mind. i dunno i think it's kind of funny and kind of sad. let me know what you think.

LoveHatesYou · Post by **LoveHatesYou** » 18 Jan 2007, 12:44

Derek-

I believe you have just transformed candy hearts into the definition of irony. I like it.

YoPlait · Post by **YoPlait** » 19 Jan 2007, 13:04

that is why i don't swim.

YoPlait · Post by **YoPlait** » 19 Jan 2007, 13:04

i thinks snaps are in order for that peice derek.

Linda · Post by **Linda** » 19 Jan 2007, 14:45

Derek i think i like ur poem best because i would have never thought to write something in that way. very clever.

Idk if u kno him but this guy P.O.S. he's like on Rhymesayers, Atmospheres label, he's good ur poem reminded me of one of his songs.

...stir over the perfect things to say and then just choke on the words.

"P.O.S. in ruining my life"

knightss · Post by **knightss** » 19 Jan 2007, 15:32

i havn't heard of him, i'll give him a listen though =)

and thank you everyone for the good feedback on my poem

Linda · Post by **Linda** » 19 Jan 2007, 22:52

his songs are a little hard to find if u wanted to download them but i got his cd 'The Audition' at Borders. oh and that song title is "P.O.S. is running my life" my bad.
(sorry this has nothing to do with poetry)

erin77 · Post by **erin77** » 24 Jan 2007, 15:12

um so its not as good as anyone's here but heres a something...
and its short...

Hauntings
flickering on and off my mind begins to search
for something with a meaning with a firm and steady perch,
upon the winds of sanity and against the winds of want
something with a meaning,
something I can haunt

Jupiter · Post by **Jupiter** » 24 Jan 2007, 19:18

Gary's Greatest Gizmo

Gary was a genius
Who made wonders of all kinds,
He made airplanes out of scissors
And houses out of twine;

He invented shoes that would walk for you
Balloons that never popped,
A kite, that on a windless day,
Would never-ever drop;

His clocks will make you breakfast
As well as telling time;
He made a tie that tied itself
And lemons that taste like limes;

Gary wanted greatness:
His next would be the best,
More brilliant than the singing bath:
Much more than all the rest;

Day and night, he worked real hard
Without worry, wear, or tire,
He built with marble, glass, and wood
And shiny copper wire;

His gizmo had electric wheels
And pipes that filled with oil,
It had sixteen furnaces
To make the water boil;

His gizmo stood twenty feet tall
And glimmered in the Sun
From fifty golden mirrors
But still, he wasn't done;

He added windmills on the sides
To turn the flywheels round,
He placed steam-whistles everywhere
So all could hear its sound;

He put jewels along the front
That sparkled in the light
From the lantern mounted high
That energized at night;

"It's done! It's done!', he cried aloud,
Patting stray hairs down,
He wanted all to see it
And called everyone from town;

They came in groups of large and small
And marveled at the sight
Of Gary's Greatest Gizmo
That shined with colored lights;

They "oohed" at all the levers
And "aahed" at all the paint
That swirled in rainbow patterns,
They thought Gary a Saint;

They wanted to know and so they asked,
"But Gary, what's it do?"
He smiled and said with sheepish grin,
"I don't have any clue!"

ktmayo05 · Post by **ktmayo05** » 25 Jan 2007, 22:05

Jupiter -- I love it!

how nice.

Jupiter · Post by **Jupiter** » 26 Jan 2007, 10:58

Thanks! Here's another one of the same theme:

Rocking Boat

Brian built a sailing boat
Which took a lot of time,
And to make sure it would float,
He made it out of pine;

He sanded, scraped, and hammered in
The planks to make the hull,
He chose the most vibrant of paints
So it would not look dull;

He made the rudder out of oak
To make sure it would last,
He stiched up canvas for the sail
And tied it to the mast;

"Done at last!" he cried with glee
And took it to the dock,
Instead of sailing like it should
The boat would only rock;

He checked the sail, "Yes, that looks good,"
Pulled tackle to the block,
But when he spun the steering wheel
The boat still only rocked;

He couldn't think of what was wrong
So he asked his daughter,
She laughed and said, "Dad, you forgot
to put it in the water!"

Linda · Post by **Linda** » 26 Jan 2007, 22:13

I didnt title it or anything it's just something i wrote.....

You tell me I?ve become too much for you to adore.
I plead you for...
Just one more pill and one more sip
Just enough to make my body tip.
Just one more week, one more day
Just let me pretend, and convince you, I?m okay

I don?t want this to end
numb me into a cold oblivion.
With every thing that passes my lips
comes the taste of disdain that my numbness can miss.
You?d rather I not be numb anymore
I try to stand when you reach for the door

But I?m laying down instead
unable to get up off my bed
dizzy with the words you?ve put in my head
and the other substances you made me ingest.
when you come back I?ll still be laid down
eyes wide open room still spinning ?round.

By that time you return, if you decide to, I will possess enough sense,
to get the words out, promising you, the wounds I?ve made I can mend.
I can?t trust my own opinions of my current condition
even though you say I?m wasting away I can?t see it.
I?m angry now because you?re the one who forced me to be this.
If it wasn?t for you I?d be different.

When you return you tell me you would stay if I could only see.
Prove to me...
That you didn?t corrupt me and leave me once I was tainted.
That you loved me, you really felt it, and never faked it.
That you believe that someday I?ll be okay.
That I?m not hopeless, and I won?t always be this way.

Before you leave you make me repeat the words ?I?m okay?
In an attempt to not feel guilty, knowing you contributed to my wasting away.

Linda · Post by **Linda** » 26 Jan 2007, 22:18

jupiter i really like how u commit to the story all the way through. Its nice how we're unaware of the endings until we finally get to them. i would try to write some comical poetry but it never happens even if i'm in the best of moods! idk why?

Linda · Post by **Linda** » 28 Jan 2007, 22:11

oh and i wrote the untitled one for one of my best friends recently. whenever shes having problems she likes to tell me about them and lets me write a poem or something about it. i havent given this one to her yet. just thought that would clarify a few things lol

Jupiter · Post by **Jupiter** » 29 Jan 2007, 11:13

Hi Linda,

I enjoyed how your poem moved through emotions while keeping the tale going. Writing about truths can be a very tricky thing and that poem took hold and didn't let go!

As for why one can't write something with another feel (like comedy), I believe it just depends on how a person is feeling while the poem is being created. I've done other things with various moods but enjoy the funny stuff out of what I've written.