Brideshead Revisited: Lovers Or Just Friends?

Pagan Poet · Post by **Pagan Poet** » 01 Oct 2015, 08:23

Hello everybody. I recently finished Brideshead Revisited, by Evelyn Waugh, and I absolutely LOVED it. One of my favourite books of all time, that’s for certain. Since then, I've been reading several posts and analysis about the themes and questions the book tackles. It seems to be a still-lingering disagreement about the true nature of the relationship between the two main characters: Charles Ryder and Sebastian Flyte. Were they lovers? Were they friends with benefits, like we like to say nowadays? Or were they plainly friends? Or were they in love but didn't engage in sexual activities? Do you think Sebastian was in love with Charles but Charles didn't love him back and this heartbreak, alongside his inner religious conflict, caused his alcoholism and rejection of the world? Does Charles feel responsible for this at the end of the novel? Did Charles try to marry Julia because it was the closest we could get to Sebastian in a socially acceptable fashion?

Throughout the novel, there are several obvious hints of a sexual relationship:

- Cara's monologue about young love. She easily presumes Charles and Sebastian are in love, but in an immature way. Charles hasn’t found mature love yet, according to her.

- Sebastian’s Oxford friends are referred to as “the sodomites” and are led by the fabulously brash Anthony Blanche.

- Charles explicitly confess to Julia that he loved Sebastian and he was "the forerunner".

- Sebastian’s possessiveness towards Charles and his apparent lack of interest towards women.

- Charles states that Sebastian was always present in his thoughts during his affair with Julia.

- Sebastian and Charles are called "fairies" by two prostitutes and aren't bothered by it.

- How Charles consistently fawns over Sebastian’s beauty, personality and eccentricities during the first half of the book.

- Sebastian’s dubious relation with Kurt (was he a reductive substitute for Charles?)

Although I see evidence for both sides of the question (lovers or just friends), I’m inclined to share Cara’s point of view: I think they were lovers, but Charles realized his relationship was a temporary infatuation unlike Sebastian, who truly loved him. This clash of perspectives caused Charles to fall for Julia and Sebastian, for alcoholism.

Tell me what do you think, I'm extremely curious!

Bonus Question: What do you think about the way Sebastian’s story ended? Too ambiguous? Too devastating? Understandable? Inspiring? I'm still crying

ktrum · Post by **ktrum** » 12 Jun 2016, 17:02

Hi, Pagan Poet. I see that you haven't posted anything to the Online Book Club since your initial post of October, 2015 but I had to comment on "Brideshead Revisited." I just finished reading this book at the suggestion of another book lover and I truly enjoyed the book; I'm also hoping to reread it in the future because there were parts I definitely did not understand. But on the whole, all your comments I TOTALLY agree with. You really got into the book and I enjoyed your interpretation of it. I was a little confused with the relationship between Charles and Sebastian but I agree with your statements regarding this. One of my thoughts regarding the book was in that time period, I would not have thought that infidelity in marriage as common as it seemed. Lastly, I did think Sebastian's story ended sadly but regretfully, he seemed a sad character; to my thinking, he probably would have been labeled with depression today or maybe even bipolar disorder. I did like him, just as everyone in the book did. The ending was sad as well in regard to Charles and Julia's marriage; I really thought they would be great together so the ending was surprising to me. I couldn't put the book down so I would give it a 5/5 stars! Thanks for your thoughts; I enjoyed the book better for reading them.

Sweetmhe · Post by **Sweetmhe** » 14 Jul 2016, 14:49

Review is so interesting, those questions makes me really want to read this book, I am fan of this kind of story.

ktrum · Post by **ktrum** » 14 Jul 2016, 15:34

I really enjoyed the book; there were a few parts which were a little hard to understand but the book held my interest and I think it would be enjoyed by most readers so let us know if you get a chance to read it, "Sweetmhe."

lisalynn · Post by **lisalynn** » 14 Apr 2019, 12:36

In the time frame of Brideshead Revisited it was normal and acceptable for young men of the day to have romantic crushes on each other. And as far as infidelity, it's as old as time itself and prevalent throughout history.