How early does it start?

Sou Hi · Post by **Sou Hi** » 12 Aug 2020, 23:29

Howlan wrote:
> Sou Hi wrote:
> > I'm afraid that to some adults, it's the children who are the source of
> > their stress. And of course, since the adults have their hands full
> > worrying about their problems, they would not pay attention to a child's if
> > they can help it. Dismissal is the easiest and fastest way to ignore an
> > extra issue. However, the grownups don't know that even children have their
> > own anxiety, which could drive them to isolation and feeling abandoned.
> > Some examples of this: a kid who recently had a new sibling, a bullied
> > child, a kid whose family is too busy to take care of them properly, etc.
> > Any of those cases can lead to depression and can haunt the children for
> > years. So the sooner the kids are cared for the better, and if the methods
> > work for the adults they probably do to a child.
>
> Yes, raising a child can be quite stressful especially when you have your own life to
> handle. Bt in these cases generally you should not consider your child to be separate
> but part of your life. It is the little moments which are a source of happiness.
> Also, as the child goes older, communication is a surefire way to get to know the
> child better. it can relieve not only the stress of the child, but also yourself.

Thanks for sharing your opinion. Sadly, that only applies to families who truly cherish their children. There're those who find their kid annoying then blame it on depression or stress. Those who work in the child-care and education industry too, unfortunately not all of them are fully dedicated to their career. This is why child abuse and bullies never cease to exist, because the adults chose to ignore the children who are in pain.

Kelyn · Post by **Kelyn** » 12 Aug 2020, 23:30

Manali_DC wrote:
> I do believe that children definitely suffer from stress and worry. But
> adults are often dismissive of this problem or fail to recognise it. The
> suggestions and remedies in this book can definitely also help children-
> atleast it might make an adult recognise the problem.

Sharon2056 wrote:
> That's a really interesting discussion, personally I think people start to
> experience stress and anxiety even when they are little children. Therefore
> it would be prudent, to start early in educating kids on how to deal with
> anxiety early enough.

Sjtoy wrote:
> I feel that some of these techniques can be used by children. I have talked
> about stress and anxiety with a few of my middle school students. It is
> important for them to be aware of their emotions and know there are
> strategies that can help them. Some basic strategies we have talked about
> include exercise, meditation, and breathing techniques.

I completely agree with all of you that we begin to feel both stress and anxiety from a young age. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, it is true that parents/guardians are often dismissive of these feelings. Helping children start addressing these difficulties early can prevent or at least mitigate problems that may spring from them later in their lives. I agree that some of the techniques in the book, such as breathing exercises, and meditation can be adjusted to be effective even with young children. I suffer from panic and anxiety attacks and remember being taught breathing exercises at a very young age. I still use those exact ones for their calming effects today.

Thanks to you all for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us. I appreciate it.

Chikom · Post by **Chikom** » 13 Aug 2020, 00:38

I think children and adults have different ways of relieving stress and anxiety. While children mostly express their frustration to their parents, adults tend to keep them to themselves! And more so, children have lower levels of stress and anxiety and can easily manage it easily by help of parents through guidance and cancelling.

Hibashaikh1509 · Post by **Hibashaikh1509** » 13 Aug 2020, 01:36

Absolutely, I believe stress can cause a dilemma for children at an early age. It is better to teach them relaxing methods than to neglect it.

Howlan · Post by **Howlan** » 13 Aug 2020, 01:58

Sou Hi wrote:
> Howlan wrote:
> > Sou Hi wrote:
> > > I'm afraid that to some adults, it's the children who are the source of
> > > their stress. And of course, since the adults have their hands full
> > > worrying about their problems, they would not pay attention to a child's if
> > > they can help it. Dismissal is the easiest and fastest way to ignore an
> > > extra issue. However, the grownups don't know that even children have their
> > > own anxiety, which could drive them to isolation and feeling abandoned.
> > > Some examples of this: a kid who recently had a new sibling, a bullied
> > > child, a kid whose family is too busy to take care of them properly, etc.
> > > Any of those cases can lead to depression and can haunt the children for
> > > years. So the sooner the kids are cared for the better, and if the methods
> > > work for the adults they probably do to a child.
> >
> > Yes, raising a child can be quite stressful especially when you have your own
> life to
> > handle. Bt in these cases generally you should not consider your child to be
> separate
> > but part of your life. It is the little moments which are a source of happiness.
> > Also, as the child goes older, communication is a surefire way to get to know
> the
> > child better. it can relieve not only the stress of the child, but also
> yourself.
>
> Thanks for sharing your opinion. Sadly, that only applies to families who truly
> cherish their children. There're those who find their kid annoying then blame it on
> depression or stress. Those who work in the child-care and education industry too,
> unfortunately not all of them are fully dedicated to their career. This is why child
> abuse and bullies never cease to exist, because the adults chose to ignore the
> children who are in pain.

Yeah, I get your point. Cherishing your child should really be a greater worry for other people. Like neighbours who always complain about other's kid being bad or not well behaved. It is then your job to tech them the correct manners required not just badmouth them.

Howlan · Post by **Howlan** » 13 Aug 2020, 02:00

Chikom wrote:
> I think children and adults have different ways of relieving stress and
> anxiety. While children mostly express their frustration to their parents,
> adults tend to keep them to themselves! And more so, children have lower
> levels of stress and anxiety and can easily manage it easily by help of
> parents through guidance and cancelling.

Yeah, I think in this case too, parent should share their worry with their children too. Not the overly complicated ones just a few in a way they can understand. Watching children trying to come up with a cute solution to your
problem can be highly stress-relieving.

Howlan · Post by **Howlan** » 13 Aug 2020, 02:02

Sharon2056 wrote:
> That's a really interesting discussion, personally I think people start to
> experience stress and anxiety even when they are little children. Therefore
> it would be prudent, to start early in educating kids on how to deal with
> anxiety early enough.

Yes, definitely. Children absorb things around them. So when they face something that cannot be understood they inadvertently face stress. And it is the duty of adults to sit with them and talk about their problems.

Howlan · Post by **Howlan** » 13 Aug 2020, 02:04

elisathelvarik wrote:
> As a child, I was always told not to worry or that I'm just overreacting. I
> think that is why I push off my anxiety and stress, which is detrimental to
> your mental health. Worries, doubts, stress, and anxiety can come at any
> age. As a parent, it is important to tell your child that worries will come
> and go as a part of life. The point is to not dwell on each stressful event
> and move on. There is importance in each anxious or stressful experience,
> so it should be dismissed immediately. It should be acknowledged and taken
> care of accordingly.

Yes, if we are able to instill stress-solving methods in children it will change the way they view the world when they grow as adults. It is a necessary step that every parent may take in order to keep their child happy and fulfilled mentally.

Howlan · Post by **Howlan** » 13 Aug 2020, 02:06

anaplasticCerebrum wrote:
> I think it's impossible to quantify when too much repression creates a
> change in ourselves. It's a sad fact. The best we can hope for is good
> parents to let us freely act out and process our emotions and ideas, but
> even this isn't enough. I think it's part of the human experience to have
> sorrow and feelings unique to you that can't be overcome. Perhaps that idea
> is damaging though, and denies room for change. Reading this book helped me
> face that idea and question whether things I consider immutable about
> myself are really so hard to change.

It is hard to change things but at the end of the day perseverance pays off. If you try to change the feeling you might not to be able to completely change it,but something you will find yourself a little different to what you were yesterady.

Joseph_ngaruiya · Post by **Joseph_ngaruiya** » 13 Aug 2020, 03:35

Kelyn wrote:
> Manali_DC wrote:
> > I do believe that children definitely suffer from stress and worry. But
> > adults are often dismissive of this problem or fail to recognise it. The
> > suggestions and remedies in this book can definitely also help children-
> > atleast it might make an adult recognise the problem.
>
> Sharon2056 wrote:
> > That's a really interesting discussion, personally I think people start to
> > experience stress and anxiety even when they are little children. Therefore
> > it would be prudent, to start early in educating kids on how to deal with
> > anxiety early enough.
>
> Sjtoy wrote:
> > I feel that some of these techniques can be used by children. I have talked
> > about stress and anxiety with a few of my middle school students. It is
> > important for them to be aware of their emotions and know there are
> > strategies that can help them. Some basic strategies we have talked about
> > include exercise, meditation, and breathing techniques.
>
> I completely agree with all of you that we begin to feel both stress and anxiety from
> a young age. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, it is true that parents/guardians
> are often dismissive of these feelings. Helping children start addressing these
> difficulties early can prevent or at least mitigate problems that may spring from
> them later in their lives. I agree that some of the techniques in the book, such as
> breathing exercises, and meditation can be adjusted to be effective even with young
> children. I suffer from panic and anxiety attacks and remember being taught breathing
> exercises at a very young age. I still use those exact ones for their calming effects
> today.
>
> Thanks to you all for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us. I appreciate it.

Parents facing anxiety and stress can also have difficulties trying to instill the right habits in their children. If the underlying condition begins with the parent, then they should reach for help together with the children.

Abhyarna · Post by **Abhyarna** » 13 Aug 2020, 06:16

Kelyn wrote:
> I think we are taught from early childhood to internalize our psychological
> difficulties and anxieties. Phrases such as "Oh, you're just a born
> worrier." heard from family, dismisses the child's anxiety as
> overreaction. Thus, this teaches children that being worried or anxious is
> supposed to be no big deal, and talking about it brings scorn (or
> dismissiveness at the very least), so they learn to keep it to
> themselves...increasing stress steadily. How does/would this play into
> what the author has to say about relieving our stress as adults? Are these
> also practices that could help children?
I agree with you that these practices can help children too. The most important thing to remember is that instead of teaching children, we should be demonstrating to the children- how we adults cope with the stress.

Abhyarna · Post by **Abhyarna** » 13 Aug 2020, 06:27

Helping the child to identify his feelings as anxiety and teaching him to find the root cause would help in the long run.

Howlan · Post by **Howlan** » 13 Aug 2020, 12:24

Abhyarna wrote:
> Kelyn wrote:
> > I think we are taught from early childhood to internalize our psychological
> > difficulties and anxieties. Phrases such as "Oh, you're just a born
> > worrier." heard from family, dismisses the child's anxiety as
> > overreaction. Thus, this teaches children that being worried or anxious is
> > supposed to be no big deal, and talking about it brings scorn (or
> > dismissiveness at the very least), so they learn to keep it to
> > themselves...increasing stress steadily. How does/would this play into
> > what the author has to say about relieving our stress as adults? Are these
> > also practices that could help children?
> I agree with you that these practices can help children too. The most important thing
> to remember is that instead of teaching children, we should be demonstrating to the
> children- how we adults cope with the stress.

Yes, teaching children about stress can be a delicate matter and should be handled carefully. We should always talk with them and if any problem arises, try to solve it together.

Kelyn · Post by **Kelyn** » 13 Aug 2020, 15:37

Chikom wrote:
> I think children and adults have different ways of relieving stress and
> anxiety. While children mostly express their frustration to their parents,
> adults tend to keep them to themselves! And more so, children have lower
> levels of stress and anxiety and can easily manage it easily by help of
> parents through guidance and cancelling.

Hibashaikh1509 wrote:
> Absolutely, I believe stress can cause a dilemma for children at an early
> age. It is better to teach them relaxing methods than to neglect it.

I agree that children and adults handle stress and anxiety in different ways and that it is much better to teach them methods to deal with it early. Most often, children do initially express their fears and frustrations to a parent, but whether or not they continue to depends greatly on how it is received and responded to by the parents. If the child's anxieties are dismissed out of hand, the child may, indeed, start internalizing their fears and not dealing with them, just as some adults do. It is not healthy in either case. If, as you suggested, the child's stress and anxiety are met with guidance and caring by the parent, it can be manageable. Some of the methods in the book, such as breathing exercises and meditation, are techniques that can help with that.

Kelyn · Post by **Kelyn** » 13 Aug 2020, 15:51

elisathelvarik wrote:
> As a child, I was always told not to worry or that I'm just overreacting. I
> think that is why I push off my anxiety and stress, which is detrimental to
> your mental health. Worries, doubts, stress, and anxiety can come at any
> age. As a parent, it is important to tell your child that worries will come
> and go as a part of life. The point is to not dwell on each stressful event
> and move on. There is importance in each anxious or stressful experience,
> so it should be dismissed immediately. It should be acknowledged and taken
> care of accordingly.

That's an excellent point, and one that I don't think has been made in this discussion yet. I agree that fears, stress, and anxiety have no age barriers, and addressing them early is best for a child's mental health. I had not really thought about the fact that children, while their anxieties are being acknowledged, the child needs to be taught or made aware that anxieties of different sorts will always be a part of life and that they need not cling to them to go on. That would, indeed, be very important for their ongoing mental health. I can't imagine what, specifically, there is in the books to help with that aspect, unless it was simply woven into the techniques for managing their anxieties that children are being taught. Are there techniques in the book you think would help best with this issue?