Christmas Memories

[cmp librarian]

Rsslue, I love sitting and looking at the tree in the dark, it's so beautiful.

While decorating the tree this year, I was reminded of my younger sister.... when she was a little girl she would crawl under the tree and lay there for hours with our dog - a golden retriever. She said it was so peaceful and beautiful it must be what heaven is like. It made me smile today.

[ALynnPowers]

This is an actual picture of my Christmas tree...

[Himmelslicht]

That is so cute!
We haven't celebrated Christmas in a while now. For one part we're not Christian and second, we don0t care anymore. Our family hasn't been together for many years now so it's just another day.
We do exchange gifts though.

[suzy1124]

Last year was my first Christmas with my husband. We were so broke that we used an old spiral outdoor tree decoration as out Christmas tree... then we decorated it with free Christmas bookmarks from the library and candycanes. haha. I would say that is always going to be a fond memory.

Very cool/sweet story Shela!

[DATo]

I must beg your patience as I tell this story for it cannot be told simply. It is a Christmas story which begins over a half-century ago and through an epiphany I experienced only yesterday, an epiphany which struck me with such clarity, suddenness and power that it brought instant tears to my eyes, has moved me to believe that the story has perhaps finally come full circle to a merciful conclusion.

I am the youngest of my siblings and when I was little more than an infant my oldest brother was serving in Korea during the Korean War. He had been severely injured in battle but made it back home alive. When I was a child little boys no longer played "cowboys and Indians", as my brother did in his childhood, for in our not so distant past the enemy had been Nazis and Japanese, so naturally we pretended to be army men in our play. Oh how we shot at each other with our toy guns and fell dramatically to our deaths only to be resurrected soon after to continue our bloodless inventions of war and chaos till we were too exhausted to continue. Now, I had it within my grasp to be the envy of my playmates for I had a real war hero for a brother who had actually been shot with a real bullet but I was under strict orders from my mother to never broach the subject of war with my brother. There is something in a mother's words and demeanor, which I'm sure every child has experienced, when the child knows that this particular command is not to be ignored. So throughout my childhood I never once broached the subject of war and my brother's experiences in Korea. I was to learn later that the injuries my brother sustained to his body paled in significance to the injuries he sustained to his psyche and his heart.

We are not a "drinking" family but one Christmas eve when I was an adult the family was gathered and my sister decided to make highballs and other mixed drinks. My brother and I found ourselves alone in one room sipping on our drinks when to my utter amazement he began to voluntarily tell me of his experiences in the war. Anything I may have imagined of his experiences was dwarfed by the reality. I sat open-mouthed listening to tales which literally gave me goosebumps. But the one story which affected me the most was of the time his unit was surrounded by enemy on Christmas eve night - this very night long ago - when they were pinned down with no avenue of escape.

"I was thinking of our family back home. I knew you were all together as we are tonight. I also knew you were thinking of me though you had no idea of the situation I was in. I also knew, and with absolute certainty on that Christmas eve night, that I would not live to see Christmas day."

And so, for the first time in my life I was made aware of the significance of Christmas eve to my brother. Somehow they had managed to escape but he would never escape the memory of that night. Nor would he ever escape the distress that the other memories - stories so harrowing, gut-wrenching and mind-blowing that I would be reluctant to post them here - memories which followed him in his footsteps for the rest of his life. That LOOK ... that familiar look of tension, and anger, of fear and desperation was forever fixed on his face.

Yesterday I, and several family members visited him at the veteran's nursing facility where he now resides. He is now 84 years old and suffers to a certain extent from dementia. The facility is an exceptionally fine one and every former serviceman and woman is treated with the utmost care and respect. While we were there a local big band performed which was very good. Christmas carols and classic old songs were the main fare.

My brother had us in stitches as he bounced up an down in his wheelchair, waving his arms madly, and grinning broadly as he imagined himself conducting the band. The LOOK, for the first time in my experience, was gone from his face. Dementia, like a comforting angel, had finally brought him the peace which eluded him all his life. This realization struck me like a thunderbolt. I was seeing my brother and interacting with him for the first time as he would have been had there been no war. Yesterday was an early Christmas present bestowed by Providence, I was given my true brother. It was the greatest Christmas present of my life.

[ALynnPowers]

That's an amazing story dato! Brought tears to my eyes!

I know what you mean about dementia kind of being a blessing because it frees your mind from the horrible memories. I went through the same thing with my dad, and we were always so thankful that he was no longer troubled by his own horrible experiences. I'm glad that you've a great Christmas story to live with now!

[DATo]

Thank you for the kind words ALynnPowers.

Also: It is nice to find someone else who appreciates Janice Ian as I do.

[ALynnPowers]

Thank you for the kind words ALynnPowers.

Also: It is nice to find someone else who appreciates Janice Ian as I do.

I am also glad to find someone who appreciates Janis Ian. She and Kevin Gnapoor are pretty much the greatest people ever.