Official Review: TimeBangers Vol. 1

Post by **bookowlie** » 18 Jun 2015, 11:18

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "TimeBangers Vol. 1" by Ivery Kirk and Luna Teague.]

2 out of 4 stars

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Travelling back in time to the Tudor period to have sex? If you find the mix of time travel and sex enticing, you will enjoy TimeBangers Vol. I: One Does Not Simply Walk into Tudor by Ivery Kirk and Luna Teague. It is a debut novel and the first installment of the TimeBangers series. Although the book is classified in the Romance genre, there are also elements of history, comedy, and science fiction/fantasy.

Beth, a single mother/history buff, and Tawny, a socially awkward scientist, reconnect at a sorority reunion. Through Tawny’s secret time travel invention, they go back in time to England in the year 1536 and mingle with Henry VIII and his crew. The situation becomes hairy when the women are suspected of spying and witchcraft.

First let me say that this is a very funny book. The central plot is inventive with just the right touch of sexual and witty situations to liven things up. Tawny and Beth remind me of the quirky women on British TV shows. Their characters are well drawn with endearing idiosyncrasies. I felt like the two women were real people, not just slutty caricatures (although they do like to talk about and have sex a lot!). Henry’s bastard son, Henry Fitzroy, is also an interesting, layered character.

Fun trivia is explained in witty layman’s terms so that the reader is laughing and learning a little history at the same time. Beth proves to be a most useful sidekick . She can speak Olde English with ease and engage in appropriate conversation, since she is a history buff.

The sexual scenes are well written and often humorous. In the second half of the book, the sexual passages in England are appropriate within the storyline. On the downside, I felt the present-day erotica in the first half of the story was gratuitous.

There were a few things I didn’t care for in this book. There is just too much lengthy description and dialogue, and it slows down the pacing of the story. Many of the passages are vivid and funny, yet are too long; the plot gets bogged down by the excess. In fact, the plot doesn’t go anywhere for the first half of the book. Already aware of the premise of the story through reading the summary, I kept thinking to myself, “When is something going to happen already?” I read 45% of the book (according to the Kindle format) before the premise and plot became remotely apparent. Until that point, I had to wade through a detailed sorority reunion weekend, masturbation sessions complete with erotic fantasies, Beth and her daughter Jules moving in with Tawny, etc.

There is so much potential here. There are many funny, even laugh-out loud, lines and the historical information is interesting. I also thought the scenes with Beth’s daughter Jules and Tawny were particularly well-written. However, there needs to be more attention paid to crafting a cohesive plot that starts off earlier in the story. I would compare the first half of this book to “Seinfeld”, which was billed as a TV show about nothing.

I rate this book 2 out of 4 stars. Taken by itself, the second half of the book is a unique twist on the time travel theme. However, the disjointed plot made for a frustrating reading experience. I would recommend this book to readers who, despite plot weaknesses, enjoy reading funny, erotic novels with a dose of history.

******
TimeBangers Vol. 1
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zeldas_lullaby · Post by **zeldas_lullaby** » 18 Jun 2015, 17:39

This is the greatest review I have ever read in my entire life! Rife with sex, comedy, naughty bathtime, and Henry VIII's bastard son, you cannot go wrong!

I have always asked myself, "Why do people in stories always try to go back in time to try to prevent atrocities and assassinations, when they could be going back in time to seduce Henry VIII?" Finally, a book that explores this!

So, BookOwlie, are you saying that this book provided a sense of delayed gratification?

Post by **bookowlie** » 18 Jun 2015, 19:37

Your post might be one of the funniest posts I've read on this site.

Now I will attempt to address your comments while trying to keep a straight face. First of all, Henry VIII was no bargain. He had a disgusting, festering wound on his leg when he is first introduced in the story. Personally, he wouldn't be my first choice to hang out with since he beheaded 2 out of his 6 wives. I don't like those odds.

Hey, don't knock Henry VIII's bastard son. He was one of the more likeable characters. At least, he didn't have a festering wound on his leg.

If you love the review, you might like the book. There are some parts that are very funny.

zeldas_lullaby · Post by **zeldas_lullaby** » 18 Jun 2015, 20:03

Thank you! I want to read it right now, I do.

DRAT! It's a pre-order, late July! Hey, I'm putting July 28th on my calendar!!

(Personally, I think the festering wound adds to the appeal.)

Post by **bookowlie** » 18 Jun 2015, 20:09

The book I was given to read was labelled as an Uncorrected Proof. I wonder if any content changes will be made prior to publication. By the way, the story was relatively free of grammatical and/or spelling errors. I found only 4 grammatical errors, of which one was fairly minor.

zeldas_lullaby · Post by **zeldas_lullaby** » 18 Jun 2015, 20:22

Perfect! I preordered it. I'm very excited. I just think I'll love this book! Festering wounds, bastard offspring, sexy people speaking Olde English... I will definitely post my thoughts here upon receiving and reading the book! I think that in this book, I've finally found a genre that I'll enjoy reading!! Humorous, kinky, historical, festering fantasy!!

Jesska6029 · Post by **Jesska6029** » 18 Jun 2015, 20:43

You two are too funny! I have never contemplating traveling back in time to get busy with anyone, but this book plot makes one think about it, haha. It's too bad the pacing is poor. The plot does seem to be something new though. I can't really think of a book with a description like this. Really nice review!

Post by **bookowlie** » 18 Jun 2015, 20:50

Jesska6029 wrote:You two are too funny! I have never contemplating traveling back in time to get busy with anyone, but this book plot makes one think about it, haha. It's too bad the pacing is poor. The plot does seem to be something new though. I can't really think of a book with a description like this. Really nice review!

Thanks Jesska! The premise of the story is certainly unique. I've also never thought of travelling back in time for unmentionable reasons. If I was going to consider it, I certainly wouldn't be interesting in a guy that looks so bloated he might burst. There are many interesting figures in American history, but I would definitely steer clear of George Washington. Didn't he contract syphilis?

-- 18 Jun 2015, 21:52 --

zeldas_lullaby wrote:Perfect! I preordered it. I'm very excited. I just think I'll love this book! Festering wounds, bastard offspring, sexy people speaking Olde English... I will definitely post my thoughts here upon receiving and reading the book! I think that in this book, I've finally found a genre that I'll enjoy reading!! Humorous, kinky, historical, festering fantasy!!

Well, I look forward to hearing your thoughts about the book. It's the first time I've had someone pre-order a book that I rated 2 out of 4 stars.

Jesska6029 · Post by **Jesska6029** » 18 Jun 2015, 20:54

I teach Brit Lit to high school students, and I would never pick Henry VIII. He was awful. I'm not sure about George Washington, but I wouldn't be shocked.

zeldas_lullaby · Post by **zeldas_lullaby** » 18 Jun 2015, 21:18

Jesska6029 wrote: The plot does seem to be something new though. I can't really think of a book with a description like this. Really nice review!

It's classic! It's what I've wanted to read all along, without realizing it!!

bookowlie wrote:
Well, I look forward to hearing your thoughts about the book. It's the first time I've had someone pre-order a book that I rated 2 out of 4 stars.

Hilarity all around. I'm digging this book, and I look forward to seeing which historical figures are... visited in future volumes.

George Washington?... Nah, he wore a wig.

gali · Post by **gali** » 18 Jun 2015, 22:21

Thank you for the great review. I think I will pass though.

Post by **bookowlie** » 18 Jun 2015, 22:27

Thanks! The book is an acquired taste.

Lisalovecraft · Post by **Lisalovecraft** » 21 Jun 2015, 21:59

What a funny premise for a book! Might just have to read it because the idea is so unique. Funny review!

Post by **bookowlie** » 21 Jun 2015, 22:47

Thanks! Parts of the book were really funny, but the first half of the book really went nowhere plot-wise. It didn't work for me as an entire book, but was still worth reading for the funny sections.