Official Review: Barney's Test by Hettie Ashwin

Post by **Annelore Trujillo** » 04 Jun 2016, 22:10

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Barney's Test" by Hettie Ashwin.]

2 out of 4 stars

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Barney’s Test by Hettie Ashwin is a typical romance novel that takes place in Australia. The story revolves around Barney, a romantic cricket player, as he tries to win the heart of his former high school girlfriend, Joan. Joan has just left her husband and has moved back to their hometown of Wallory. Barney thinks it is the perfect time to swoop in. Unfortunately, Barney encounters problem after problem as he tries to woo her over. There are embarrassing cricket matches, another woman named Rosa is thrown into the mix, and Joan seems to be playing games of her own.

While the plot of the story was great, the overall writing quality of the book was not. As I read the book, I couldn’t help but feel that it was rushed. The first problem I noticed was that the book was full of errors in punctuation. Usually, little errors don’t bother me; but the errors in this book were very distracting. Quotation marks were often in the wrong places or just didn’t exist. This made it difficult to decipher what the characters were actually saying out loud. I had the same problem with the lack of commas. It often made certain sentences hard to understand.

Another problem I noticed was that the author switched between tenses quite often. Most of the book was written in past tense; however, there were several occasions where a sentence in the present tense was slipped in. A few of these slips were appropriate, but the majority of them were not. A few times, there were two different tenses within just one sentence.

Not only was the editing rushed, but the style of writing also seemed to rush the reader through the book. When I read, I like to indulge in the book. I didn’t feel like I had the time with this one as there were several areas that lacked development. The problem was more apparent toward the beginning of the book than the end. For example, at the very beginning of the book there are quite a few people present in the room with Barney. The author used multiple names for several of the characters without introducing the characters first. It took about five pages for me to figure out who everyone was. I am by no means saying that there needs to be a lengthy discussion for every character, but there does need to be some clarity. The first few pages should make the reader eager to continue through the book, not so confused that they want to put it down.

Now don’t think that this book is terrible; it isn’t. If you can get past the first few chapters of the book, the overall story is pretty good; and the characters have personalities that are easy to connect with. Once you get used to the style and editing mistakes, the book is good for someone who wants a little lightweight romance. There were also some cultural aspects of the book that I thought were implemented very well. Another entertaining aspect of the book was the added commentaries throughout the story. As the story progressed, there were commentaries as if the story were being told by announcer at a cricket match. I thought these added a unique flair to the writing.

I would also like to commend the author for keeping the story clean. While I might not recommend this book to an older population, I think that it would be great for a younger group. I would feel very comfortable with teenagers reading this book which is rare for novels in the romance category. I think that the same simplicity that I disliked in the book would be enjoyed by some younger readers.

Overall, I think that this book has a good foundation. However, I think a little more time needs to go into the revision process. The book feels rushed, and it distracts the reader from the fun characters and plot. I give the book 2 out of 4 stars.

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Barney's Test
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courtlt · Post by **courtlt** » 14 Jun 2016, 22:51

Thank you for the review! It was very helpful. I was pleased to see that it addressed everything: plot, culture, grammar, writing style, and recommended age range.

Post by **Annelore Trujillo** » 15 Jun 2016, 12:46

courtlt wrote:Thank you for the review! It was very helpful. I was pleased to see that it addressed everything: plot, culture, grammar, writing style, and recommended age range.

Thank you for your feedback!

Post by **bookowlie** » 15 Jun 2016, 13:12

Nice, thorough review. You made an especially good point that the beginning of a book should make the reader want to read further, instead of being confusing. Nice job.

LivreAmour217 · Post by **LivreAmour217** » 15 Jun 2016, 13:15

Nice review! The book sounds interesting, and I hope that the author takes your advice about the grammatical errors and pace of the book.

kimmyschemy06 · Post by **kimmyschemy06** » 14 Jul 2016, 23:37

That was a very honest review. The premise sounds very promising. Too bad, though, about the flaws of the book. I agree with you about 'the author's using multiple names for several of the characters without introducing the characters first' being confusing and sometimes frustrating. Great job on the review.