View on relationships

Ayosinmi · Post by **Ayosinmi** » 11 Jul 2017, 06:13

gali wrote:We have two set of relationships in this book. On one hand, we have Nadia who believes that one should not stay in an abusing relationship for the sake of the kids. Do not mistake, though, she loves her son more than life itself and would do anything to make him happy. On the other hand, we have Yaser who is just the opposite of her. He sacrifices his honor and stays in an unfulfilling marriage for his children's sake. I support Nadia's view. Which side are you? How would you act?

Let me quote Nadia from the book

"This was the line every wife used to convince herself that
she was fulfilling her duty as a mother and that she ought to
sacrifice herself for her children, but who ever said children
wanted to live in a house that was devoid of love? Who ever
said children would be happy in a loveless household because
their mother was being patient on their behalf? Who ever said
the kids would realize and appreciate their mother’s tolerance,
or that they wouldn’t blame her for her mistakes because it
had been her life and her choice?"
This just summarizes my answer... ?

gali · Post by **gali** » 11 Jul 2017, 07:00

Ayosinmi wrote:
gali wrote:We have two set of relationships in this book. On one hand, we have Nadia who believes that one should not stay in an abusing relationship for the sake of the kids. Do not mistake, though, she loves her son more than life itself and would do anything to make him happy. On the other hand, we have Yaser who is just the opposite of her. He sacrifices his honor and stays in an unfulfilling marriage for his children's sake. I support Nadia's view. Which side are you? How would you act?
Let me quote Nadia from the book

"This was the line every wife used to convince herself that
she was fulfilling her duty as a mother and that she ought to
sacrifice herself for her children, but who ever said children
wanted to live in a house that was devoid of love? Who ever
said children would be happy in a loveless household because
their mother was being patient on their behalf? Who ever said
the kids would realize and appreciate their mother’s tolerance,
or that they wouldn’t blame her for her mistakes because it
had been her life and her choice?"
This just summarizes my answer... ?

A good quote and one I totally agree with it!

Ayosinmi · Post by **Ayosinmi** » 11 Jul 2017, 07:08

gali wrote:
Ayosinmi wrote:
gali wrote:We have two set of relationships in this book. On one hand, we have Nadia who believes that one should not stay in an abusing relationship for the sake of the kids. Do not mistake, though, she loves her son more than life itself and would do anything to make him happy. On the other hand, we have Yaser who is just the opposite of her. He sacrifices his honor and stays in an unfulfilling marriage for his children's sake. I support Nadia's view. Which side are you? How would you act?
Let me quote Nadia from the book

"This was the line every wife used to convince herself that
she was fulfilling her duty as a mother and that she ought to
sacrifice herself for her children, but who ever said children
wanted to live in a house that was devoid of love? Who ever
said children would be happy in a loveless household because
their mother was being patient on their behalf? Who ever said
the kids would realize and appreciate their mother’s tolerance,
or that they wouldn’t blame her for her mistakes because it
had been her life and her choice?"
This just summarizes my answer... ?
A good quote and one I totally agree with it!

Yes. A home without peace and love is toxic for children.

gali · Post by **gali** » 11 Jul 2017, 07:23

Ayosinmi wrote:
gali wrote:
Ayosinmi wrote: Let me quote Nadia from the book

"This was the line every wife used to convince herself that
she was fulfilling her duty as a mother and that she ought to
sacrifice herself for her children, but who ever said children
wanted to live in a house that was devoid of love? Who ever
said children would be happy in a loveless household because
their mother was being patient on their behalf? Who ever said
the kids would realize and appreciate their mother’s tolerance,
or that they wouldn’t blame her for her mistakes because it
had been her life and her choice?"
This just summarizes my answer... ?
A good quote and one I totally agree with it!
Yes. A home without peace and love is toxic for children.

Indeed it is. It also isn't a good role model.
.

Jeconiaomolo · Post by **Jeconiaomolo** » 11 Jul 2017, 07:38

I think Nadia is just right because. Life is about comfort, why must you stay in an abusing relationship? If things don't work out quit and look for other people.

gali · Post by **gali** » 11 Jul 2017, 07:39

Jeconiaomolo wrote:I think Nadia is just right because. Life is about comfort, why must you stay in an abusing relationship? If things don't work out quit and look for other people.

Indeed! Life is too short to suffer unfulfilling relationships, not to mention abusing ones.

Mikolel · Post by **Mikolel** » 11 Jul 2017, 07:59

I totally support Nadia,being in an abusive marriage not only affects one psychologically bt also kills the self esteem of the person.for the sake of the love she has for her child,she should take the matter to the court to grant her custody of the child an I believe with evidence of being abused,she should be given custody of they child

gali · Post by **gali** » 11 Jul 2017, 08:02

Mikolel wrote:I totally support Nadia,being in an abusive marriage not only affects one psychologically bt also kills the self esteem of the person.for the sake of the love she has for her child,she should take the matter to the court to grant her custody of the child an I believe with evidence of being abused,she should be given custody of they child

You're right. She did get custody of the child, but the father has rights as well.

Mikolel · Post by **Mikolel** » 11 Jul 2017, 08:11

Yea the father also has rights which I believe he has abused by taking laws into his hands and has s totally devalued his wife

gali · Post by **gali** » 11 Jul 2017, 08:21

Mikolel wrote:Yea the father also has rights which I believe he has abused by taking laws into his hands and has s totally devalued his wife

I agree with that. I am not sure that he physically attacked her, though.

He took a second wife, which their culture allows and she opposed to, and rightly so, and he did devalue her.

stephen kyalo · Post by **stephen kyalo** » 11 Jul 2017, 08:48

its all about avoiding abusive relationship in our lives,and living positively.

gali · Post by **gali** » 11 Jul 2017, 08:59

stephen kyalo wrote:its all about avoiding abusive relationship in our lives,and living positively.

It is, but it isn't always possible.

Stez16 · Post by **Stez16** » 12 Jul 2017, 03:33

I don't think that I'd stay in an abusive or unfulfilling relationship for the sake of my kids. they would watch me be unhappy and this could as well affect them. I'm totally in support of Nadia's view.

gali · Post by **gali** » 12 Jul 2017, 03:47

Stez16 wrote:I don't think that I'd stay in an abusive or unfulfilling relationship for the sake of my kids. they would watch me be unhappy and this could as well affect them. I'm totally in support of Nadia's view.

I agree. I think it is better for the kids to see their parents happy.

margy wangari · Post by **margy wangari** » 12 Jul 2017, 05:00

I would never stand in an abusive relationship for the sake of my kids because the kids will be affected by the abuse.There's no way a kid can be brought up in an abusive environment and be expected to have no negative impact