Are These Teenage Extramarital Affairs Happening in 2018?

Use this forum to discuss the April 2018 Book of the Month, "Ironbark Hill" by Jennie Linnane
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NL Hartje
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Re: Are These Teenage Extramarital Affairs Happening in 2018?

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Clinical1 wrote: 06 Apr 2018, 09:13 I believe it still is like a prize now, but we are more conscious of the legal implications.
Legal implications!? Yes! This is an entirely new wrench thrown into this picture in previous years.
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alanajaney wrote: 06 Apr 2018, 12:04 I don't think it's unrealistic to imagine it happening in today's world. Teenagers seem older than in previous generations - they are all about being an adult and having an affair with an adult would only make them feel that much older.
This. This in a nutshell added on top of middle-aged insecurities.
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BeatrixPotter wrote: 06 Apr 2018, 15:23 With social media, pedophiles are targeting teens and even younger youth online, and sometimes we hear about one who has disappeared after being lured out to meet the predator. Sometimes youth are being lured away and end up being trafficked into the sex trade somewhere.
The sex trade is certainly an unfortunate byproduct of the degradation of morality accompanied by the accessibility of media.
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qsusan wrote: 07 Apr 2018, 05:27 I wouldn't describe this relationship as pedophiliac in nature. In 1950, girls got married at age 20 plus or minus a few years which means Natalie was already of an age to get married. Though I agree that the consent may be dubious as Natalie could be classified as emotionally damaged with an abusive stepfather and may have simply been searching for a father figure and those emotions were twisted and transformed into erotic love.
I agree with you that in this scenario, my take on the relationship is not pedophilia. Disloyal, yes. Misguided, probably. But if she were of a marrying age fitting with the time, this would not be really preying on the overly young.
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CataclysmicKnight wrote: 07 Apr 2018, 13:09 I wasn't alive in the 50s, so I can't be entirely sure. However, it's also very possible that we just hear about it more often these days due to social media and online news, but that it was just as "common" back then. This feels like one of those trick questions where a first reaction would be "Oh, they're WAY more common now!", but if they were so common these days then it wouldn't make such big news when a teacher is discovered to be having a relationship with a student.

I know this isn't much of an answer LOL, but it's all I've got.
I agree with you! My thought process was, "oh they're way more common now"..."but wait...books were obviously written about it in the 50s"...Dr. Zhivago, Lolita... :eusa-think:
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KitabuKitamu wrote: 07 Apr 2018, 17:17 In my opinion its partly due to the potential anonymity our present population size offers.
Offered not only by our gross overpopulation but also the ease of social media. :shhh:
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Post by jwalker73 »

I think these affairs have always occurred, they were just less spoken about. In past times, there were many times when young parlour maids, working in wealthy households, would fall pregnant to their employer's husbands. These girls were then sent away to birth in secret and the incidents were never discussed again.
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NL Hartje wrote: 08 Apr 2018, 21:33
DathanReeves wrote: 05 Apr 2018, 21:01 The real question is what causes this sort of thing to happen.
Isn't the easiest answer insecurity: on behalf of both the adult and the teen? I am certain there is more to it than that, but it's what jumps out at me. :eusa-think:
I agree, insecurity is a large player in these things, but everyone has insecurities and not all of them make such dramatic decisions. Something makes these people ignore the obvious and choose to follow this immature pleasure. It's like they know the right choice, but sprint away from it; like the moments of bliss for permanent suffering is better than moments of suffering for eternal joy. Why do they do that?
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KLafser wrote: 07 Apr 2018, 19:15
Eryn Bradshaw wrote: 02 Apr 2018, 09:31 Honestly, I think that extramarital affairs are probably about the same throughout time. There's always been adults who target teenagers, it was just less heard of in the past. A teenage girl who sleeps with an older gentleman would be quickly swept under the carpet, otherwise she wouldn't be eligible for marriage. I do think we hear about it more now though. The teens who have these extramarital affairs with adults aren't ostracized, they are taken to therapy, they get the help they need; and adults who have participated with the teens get sentenced to jail time, removed from their jobs, etc. And with all that happening, news outlets get hold of the story and report on it.
I agree - the numbers may go up or down a little, but I expect that the average is about the same just more publicized in current times. To go a step further, I think teenagers, in general, have crushes but don't typically have the means (gumption?) to act on them. It merits calling out that although she was willing, the adult expressed an interest and initiated contact in this case.
Definitely agree with you here! I'm sure there's that one teacher everyone had a crush on in high school, but as a teenager, you don't usually have the courage to act on it. When an adult takes advantage of those feelings and hormones teens might not completely understand, it obviously causes problems. In a world where we are constantly consuming and taking in news, of course it's going to be a more wide spread thing. The media does it for the clicks.
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Post by Jmteachmom »

I believe extramarital affairs are just as prominent today as they were in the 1950's. Of course, in the past, they was more secrecy while in today's society we air all our dirty laundry. The affair in Ironbark Hill is one that did not surprise me though. As a history buff, I have read about this type of behavior over and over. I would like to think this was something we have realized is sinful, therefore do not participate in, but its not.
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NL Hartje wrote: 08 Apr 2018, 21:50
qsusan wrote: 07 Apr 2018, 05:27 I wouldn't describe this relationship as pedophiliac in nature.
I agree with you that in this scenario, my take on the relationship is not pedophilia. Disloyal, yes. Misguided, probably. But if she were of a marrying age fitting with the time, this would not be really preying on the overly young.
I agree that's it's not paedophilia, but he is her employer, so I do consider it an abuse of power. The pay rise is deeply creepy.
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MsTri wrote: 03 Apr 2018, 11:00 I too think that it's probably always been prevalent, it just wasn't as well known in the days before CNN, the Internet, and so on. Does anyone remember Mary Kay Letourneau, who married her former student, Vili Fualaau, after giving birth to two daughters and going to jail for it? As huge as that was, we probably never would have heard of it had it happened in the 50s or even 60s or 70s.
I agree with you, social media and awareness has just made a lot of us aware of this of recent. In my opinion teenage affairs is more prominent in 2018
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Libs_Books wrote: 09 Apr 2018, 12:01
NL Hartje wrote: 08 Apr 2018, 21:50
qsusan wrote: 07 Apr 2018, 05:27 I wouldn't describe this relationship as pedophiliac in nature.
I agree with you that in this scenario, my take on the relationship is not pedophilia. Disloyal, yes. Misguided, probably. But if she were of a marrying age fitting with the time, this would not be really preying on the overly young.
I agree that's it's not paedophilia, but he is her employer, so I do consider it an abuse of power. The pay rise is deeply creepy.
The pay raise was because of her getting older though. I assume that, like in England, the amount you earn goes up when you get older.
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Eryn Bradshaw wrote: 09 Apr 2018, 15:07
Libs_Books wrote: 09 Apr 2018, 12:01
NL Hartje wrote: 08 Apr 2018, 21:50 I agree with you that in this scenario, my take on the relationship is not pedophilia. Disloyal, yes. Misguided, probably. But if she were of a marrying age fitting with the time, this would not be really preying on the overly young.
I agree that's it's not paedophilia, but he is her employer, so I do consider it an abuse of power. The pay rise is deeply creepy.

The pay raise was because of her getting older though. I assume that, like in England, the amount you earn goes up when you get older.
Well, in England, it's not automatic if you're in private employment. In any case, the first pay rise is connected to her age, yes - but the second pay rise comes "quite unexpectedly", is very generous and just after she gets it, he arranges to drive her home via The Lookout.
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Post by kwame1977 »

Teenager's nowadays get exposure at an early age. It's impossible to stop them. The best thing to do is education. We need to make them aware of the repurcursions of any decision they take.
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