What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?

DNameiscal+Fort · Post by **DNameiscal+Fort** » 25 Apr 2018, 08:29

all suggestion being made are OK, and the nerve that was triggered for her to confront her drunk addict step dad wad a simple act of self confidence

baldwookie · Post by **baldwookie** » 25 Apr 2018, 10:06

Safety first, and as soon as possible. Understanding that many abuse victims feel their abuse is the norm, they deserve it, the abuser is a nice person except ..., etc., safety may come from the hands of those willing to reach out to them, rather than their own realizations. Isolation is a defining aspect of being a victim of abuse and perpetuates staying in an abusive situation and remaining a victim after reaching safety. Many venues exist by which one can begin to explore their experiences and beginning to discover there is more to abuse recovery than survival. The internet can be a safe venue except that the presence of on-line predators has been documented within the chat-rooms of abuse victims. Avoiding being again victimized is a path of courage and discernment. Abuse victims experience PTSD and, often, Complex-PTSD. Within communities, universities, colleges, hospitals, churches, etc., exist monitored (and, in a growing number, evaluated) proctors leading groups for abuse victims. Numerous are therapists who claim varying successes with engaging in a therapeutic relationship with abuse victims. A number of clinical interventions have been developed for treating abuse victims. How to choose? Investigate as if you're efforts are benefitting someone you are trying to protect. Last but not least, there are a number of fiction/non-fictional books available concerning the topic of abuse. The truth is that any initial approaches for help can be frightening for a victim of abuse. Courage, my brothers and sisters!

khusnick · Post by **khusnick** » 25 Apr 2018, 15:40

Everyone has different ways to cope and move on from trauma. It depends on the person, but time is also a key factor. Nothing is easy right away, but the more time that passes, the easier it gets. It's also easier to find what works for you through time rather than hoping to find the right coping mechanism right away.

Nicola6754 · Post by **Nicola6754** » 25 Apr 2018, 22:56

Enthusiastic and mental injury is the consequence of phenomenally distressing occasions that smash your suspicion that all is well and good, influencing you to feel defenseless in a risky world. Horrendous encounters regularly include a danger to life or wellbeing, however any circumstance that abandons you feeling overpowered and detached can be awful, regardless of whether it doesn't include physical mischief. It's not the target realities that decide if an occasion is awful, however your subjective enthusiastic experience of the occasion. The more terrified and defenseless you feel, the more probable you are to be damaged.

holsam_87 · Post by **holsam_87** » 25 Apr 2018, 23:55

cristinaro wrote: ↑01 Apr 2018, 16:23 The protagonist in Ironbark Hill is sixteen-year-old Natalie Chapman. She has to cope with verbal, physical and psychological abuse from an alcoholic stepfather. Her answer is fighting back mistreatment and finding a refuge in art.

What is your view on the matter? Is the alcoholic father the only responsible in the family equation? Which are the best means of responding to abuse and other traumatic experiences? Do you think it is difficult for a writer to describe abusive situations?

I thought that Natalie was in the right to stick up for herself. Building positive relationships with other people and using Art as an outlet was a great thing for her to do. Unfortunately, Alex wasn't the only one at fault, Irma was at fault since she rarely spoke up. The best way to react to abuse and a traumatic experience is to nor keep it bottled up, it is better to find help in any shape possible. When writers have to describe abusive situations, I'm sure it is extremely difficult, especially if they have experienced it themselves.

dominic658 · Post by **dominic658** » 26 Apr 2018, 05:25

Hmmmm! This can be very difficult but not impossible.The best possible way to overcome abuse and trauma is to talk about it, knowing that alot of those who's responsible is to abuse others are hurt themselves. The pain will always linger if you never try to talk about it. Talking about it will gradually help to free you from the pain.

jaswill · Post by **jaswill** » 26 Apr 2018, 15:43

Acknowledge and recognize the trauma for what it is. Victims of childhood trauma often spend years minimizing the event or dismissing it by pretending it didn’t happen or by succumbing to feelings of guilt or self-blame. The only way you can begin healing is to acknowledge that a traumatic event did occur and that you were not responsible for it.

2. Reclaim control. Feelings of helplessness can carry well over into adulthood and can make you feel and act like a perpetual victim, causing you to make choices based on your past pain. When you’re a victim, the past is in control of your present. But when you’ve conquered your pain, the present is controlled by you. There may always be a battle between past and present, but as long as you’re willing to let go of the old defenses and crutches you used as a child to navigate your trauma, you will be able to reclaim control of your life now and heal your pain.

3. Seek support and don’t isolate yourself. A natural instinct that many trauma survivors have is to withdraw from others, but this will only make things worse. A big part of the healing process is connecting to other people, so make the effort to maintain your relationships and seek support. Talk to a trusted family member, friend or counselor and consider joining a support group for survivors of childhood trauma.

4. Take care of your health. Your ability to cope with stress will increase if you are healthy. Establish a daily routine that allows you to get plenty of rest, eat a well-balanced diet and exercise regularly. Most importantly, stay away from alcohol and drugs. These might provide temporary relief but will inevitably increase your feelings of depression, anxiety and isolation and can worsen your trauma symptoms.

5. Learn the true meaning of acceptance and letting go. Just because you accept something doesn’t mean you’re embracing your trauma or that you like it or agree with it. Acceptance means you’ve decided what you’re going to do with it. You can decide to let it rule your life or you can decide to let it go. Letting go doesn’t mean “poof!” it’s magically gone. Letting go means no longer allowing your bad memories and feelings of a bad childhood to rob yourself of living a good life now.

6. Replace bad habits with good ones. Bad habits can take many forms, like negativity and always mistrusting others, or turning to alcohol or drugs when feelings become too hard to bear. Bad habits can be hard to break, especially when they’re used as crutches to help you avoid reliving the pain and trauma of your childhood. A support group or a therapist can help you learn the tools necessary to break your bad habits and replace them with good ones.

7. Be patient with yourself. When you’ve been seriously hurt as a child you develop out-of-control emotions, hopelessness, defense mechanisms and warped perceptions that are difficult to let go of. It will take a lot of time and hard work to let go of these feelings. Be patient with yourself and honor your progress, no matter how small it may seem. It’s the little victories in your recovery that will eventually help you win the battle of healing your childhood trauma.

lynnblackwell031 · Post by **lynnblackwell031** » 26 Apr 2018, 16:19

Move to another town and get help medication would also help

DestineyGuy · Post by **DestineyGuy** » 26 Apr 2018, 19:48

This could help out people who are in this exact same situation! Sometimes people dont overcome the abuse thats happened to them, they just learn to live with it, but placing themselves around people that will give them as much support as they need or doing everyday activities could help out tremendously

Jaydasymone23 · Post by **Jaydasymone23** » 26 Apr 2018, 20:43

Healthy distractions, self love and growth, being with family.

Supergirl1 · Post by **Supergirl1** » 27 Apr 2018, 02:25

I believe victims of abuse should immerse themselves in activities that bring them peace. This of course differs from person to person. I found solace in reading self-help books. Natalie found solace in art. Self-expression is important when trying to overcome trauma caused by abusive situations.

Pretty jay · Post by **Pretty jay** » 27 Apr 2018, 03:55

I think the best way of overcoming such abuse is having a change of environment.

Efetobor123 · Post by **Efetobor123** » 27 Apr 2018, 04:56

The surest way to overcome this malady is to have great fear for God and to be opened to good counselors like myself.

1easywriter · Post by **1easywriter** » 27 Apr 2018, 10:19

The most undervalued resource in any situation of struggle, trauma, or abuse in its many forms is the person themselves. The human being is enormously resilient and is so much more than the sum of its parts.

I haven't read the book in question and so I do not have a huge number of facts to consider. You have told me that Natalie is sixteen and that she has been abused by her alcoholic stepfather. The abuse has taken a number of forms as it always does.

You have told me that she is fighting back. This is a good thing and demonstrates inner strength and determination, but as far as I can tell she has not yet removed herself from the abusive environment. This is one of the first steps that she needs to accomplish in her fight back.

She cannot be expected to take on responsibility for her domestic situation. Her stepfather needs to address his demons himself. Her mother needs to find her own path out of the situation. You have told me that Natalie has decided to take refuge in art. You have not given me much detail about how exactly. However reading between the lines I am hearing that she has found some way at least to find some refuge in art either by looking at art, as in paintings, sculpture, gardens, listening to music, or reading books, poetry or actually painting, or writing herself in some form. She may even have started to journal. All of these are valid and can take her far, even all the way to full recovery and healing. Why is this so? Because when we engage in art in any form we enter the world of feelings and emotions. This is the source of our best art in whatever form; our renewal and our healing too.

When we write or paint their is always a part of ourselves, our experience that is involved. Our subconscious comes to the fore, our inspirational energy feeds of everything we are and have experienced; both the good and the bad. Writing and painting are two of the therapeutic tools that are most powerful in helping us to recover from many forms of abuse, trauma, grief and loss.

Meditation or Mindfulness is another very helpful practice. When we feel pain or anxiety it is because we are remembering some horrible past event or worrying about something in the future that has not yet happened but we fear that it will.

Mindfulness techniques work by focusing us on our breathing which helps us to be in the moment...the present moment,to deeply relax, where everything is calm and there are in fact no problems. It helps us to develop a calm mind, inner peace and to maintain that in the face of anything. Perhaps these are a few of the tools that Natalie might find useful.

Whether it is difficult for a writer to write about abuse or not rather depends on the writer in question, and how well they have resolved any of their own pertinent issues.
I hope this helps?

Taisa123 · Post by **Taisa123** » 27 Apr 2018, 13:51

Do things to keep busy have faith in yourself stay away from negativity.... reach for your goals. Write to yourself listen to music and try an stay focus.