Official Review: He can't remember she can't forget

[desantismt_17]

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "He can't remember she can't forget" by L.S. Hoffman.]

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1 out of 4 stars

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He Can’t Remember She Can’t Forget by L.S. Hoffman is a family saga encompassing a cheating spouse, substance abuse, abusive relationships, major health issues, and life-altering moments.

Brad and Carly met when they were fifteen and married young. Carly is the consummate family woman—excited for a new relationship and to start a family. Brad, by contrast, is a textbook playboy. He wants to be free of responsibility and be able to party every night, going home with a different woman. So, when Carly tells Brad he’s going to be a father, he’s not thrilled.

What follows is a cycle of Brad living the “single man’s” lifestyle while Carly waits and hopes he’ll snap out of it to become the man she wants him to be. Told in shifting perspectives between Carly, Brad, Brad’s father, Carly’s parents, Carly and Brad’s two daughters, and Brad’s later mistress, He Can’t Remember She Can’t Forget shows what happens when we wait too long to make change.

This book was filed under romance. While reading and upon finishing, I determined that it meets none of the requirements of a romance novel—mainly an arc of two characters meeting, courting, and winding up together. At the end of the epilogue, I had this labeled as general fiction. Then, after the epilogue, there was a “personal message from the author,” which made it sound as if this were actually non-fiction. At this point, I’m not quite sure what to call it.

Whether fiction or non-fiction, the situations in He Can’t Remember She Can’t Forget are unfortunate, and I don’t just mean the various types of abuse and illness. This book left me feeling upset, both at its ending and at its characters.

If Carly is supposed to be the main protagonist, I could not connect with her as a character at all. She spends the entire book wishing and hoping and praying for things to work out. When things get worse, she does more hoping and praying, never taking matters into her hands or taking control of her life. Time after time, Brad disappoints her. He uses her for money, calls her all sorts of terrible names, and repeatedly falls down when it comes to being a good husband or father. Yet, Carly continues to give him second chances. She’s given opportunity after opportunity to eject Brad from her life. Many times, she could move out, get a divorce, and start over. Instead, she keeps tossing these chances aside, and then she’s surprised when her life doesn’t get better.

Really, I had a tough time liking or connecting with most of the characters. Brad is too wrapped up in his life to care about anyone else. Marnie, his mistress, is blinded by her love for Brad, apparently not realizing that if Brad’s willing to cheat on his wife with her, he might cheat on her down the road. Carly’s family is a major disappointment. At one point, Carly wants to move out on Brad right before Christmas. Carly’s mom begs her not to because she wants one more holiday with the family together. First, what kind of parent sees their child in an abusive situation and essentially says “stay here to make me happy?” Second, after this and similar incidents, Carly thinks she has this great support system. Hardly anyone is supportive, and when they are, Carly brushes them aside to wait around and hope. The only character I could remotely get behind was Jack, Brad’s father. He made some mistakes in his youth but grew up and figured stuff out. He warns Carly early on that Brad’s a runner and "once a runner, always a runner." Carly doesn’t listen to that either.

Aside from the support system, there were many other inconsistencies throughout this book. In later chapters, Carly suddenly starts smoking. If she smoked earlier in the book, it was very well hidden. There’s also a later reference to Carly still looking so young. I suppose it’s possible, but I find it difficult to believe with all the stress she puts herself under. That does a job on the body after a while. Marnie is made to sound so much younger than Brad. One of her friends at the hospital where she works keeps telling her not to wait for Brad because she’s young and has her whole life ahead of her. Unless I badly misread something, Marnie is ten years younger than Brad, putting her somewhere in her mid to late thirties. This isn’t old, but Marnie’s friend makes it sound like Marnie’s all of eighteen.

The book itself is not very well written. Chapter 1 opens with us finding out Brad and Marnie are having an affair. This sets up for quite the story, and then the next several chapters are backstory about Brad and Carly’s family. I thought this would only last for a bit, but it turns out that the story just moves forward from their parents to them and then to the time when Chapter 1 takes place. Marnie isn’t mentioned again until Chapter 10, and her name is just dropped into the middle of a sentence, as if we’re supposed to remember who she is from so many chapters ago. The writing, too, lacks. There are spelling and grammar errors throughout, as well as missing words.

All of this made the book difficult for me to read, but my final straw came toward the end. After finding out Brad is having an affair, Carly asks herself “what did I do wrong?” Stop. No. Absolutely not. Brad made his choices. Marnie made her choices. If the point of this book was to endear Carly (the protagonist) to the reader, this is where the book failed for me. The actions of others are their own faults. Carly did nothing wrong. In my opinion, she gave everyone too many chances. Yet, she takes the blame for the poor decisions of everyone around her, Brad in particular. As a protagonist, she sets a terrible and potentially harmful precedent for others experiencing these types of situations, sending the message to readers that they are responsible for the poor decisions of those around them. By not taking responsibility for her life and working to change anything, Carly further cements that life just happens, and while you can think about making it better, you really have no choices. This, more than anything, made me upset at this book.

I rate He Can’t Remember She Can’t Forget 1 out of 4 stars. If so many things had been done differently, there could have been quite the emotional journey here. Unfortunately, this book’s latent potential was not enough to raise my rating at all. Instead, it just left me shaking my head. I suppose this book would appeal to anyone seeking a guide for how not to handle life’s crises. Otherwise, with the harmful idea’s Carly’s character promotes, I can’t in good conscious recommend this book to others.

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He can't remember she can't forget
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Like desantismt_17's review? Post a comment saying so!

[DathanReeves]

I felt what you felt while reading your review. I can't fathom what would be so enticing for a story like this.

[Mai4]

Hi, I really enjoyed your review and loved how you delved very deeply into the characters and your reasonings. On the other hand, could you please tell me how or what I need to click to read the books on here and leave reviews for them? Thank you

[Anon_Reviewer]

I'd probably end up pulling my hair out because of a character like Brad. You justified the low rating well enough for me to trust your judgment so I'll pass on this one. Thank you for the great review!

[Selle0093]

Wow! I really felt the emotions while reading it. It just reminds us that everyone deserves a second chance.

[Riszell]

The title is familiar so I decided to read this review to verify if I have encountered or read this one before. But it seems I haven't. I read a lot of books but have never read one told in shifting perspectives. That could be confusing while reading. Though the main conflict here, what could happen if you wait too long, is very interesting as it applies to the real world and real-life circumstances, I agree that the writing could have done better.

[Book lover26]

The fact it is told in so many perspectives is kind of a little off-putting to start with. It comes across as though this book hasn't really been all that well thought out , nevermind not very well written , I think I'll give this book a swerve , thanks for an honest , very well written review!

[Kashosi]

I think it promotes that because of love we can endure everything. And also that we are responsible of how people act around us and all that. I don't see any romance but i think i could learn one or two things in this book. Thank you for the review

[Manang Muyang]

There are people who live all their lives as doormats. Unhappy wives mostly. Let's hope Carly and women like her will be brave enough to take that crucial step to a life of freedom and joy. Good riddance to all the Brads!