Carly and Kane's friendship

Howlan · Post by **Howlan** » 04 Feb 2020, 08:28

I think Val and Adam's friendship is a great example

amandathebibliophile · Post by **amandathebibliophile** » 04 Feb 2020, 11:25

I haven’t read this book, but I have a sense of how to answer this question. I don’t think it’s ever fair to say the woman “had it coming” with regards to sexual advances. That being said, I bet there were plenty of mixed signals going on between these two “friends!” Not that mixed signals give anyone the right to behave inappropriately...

redrockwolf · Post by **redrockwolf** » 04 Feb 2020, 13:11

I felt she could have handled the situation better. She seemed to be giving Kane mixed signals. She could have dressed for comfort and not for attention -- though she did make sure to put on the socks to avoid the "foot fetish" attention. Snuggling on the couch was a bit much. I do understand some of her reasons, though. She had never had any friends before, much less male friends, and was not sure how to behave. The slap was called for because Kane should have understood she was already taken. Her boyfriend was Kane's friend. He should never have taken that step. He should never have kissed her.

Erin Dydek · Post by **Erin Dydek** » 04 Feb 2020, 14:00

I'm not a fan of their relationship in the book. It almost seemed to be promoting the idea that it's ok to lead someone on. She acted like Kane's desire to kiss her was all his fault when she never established clear boundaries by waiting for him to fully understand that they were never going to be more than friends. In my experience, you can't tell a guy that you care about him as a friend because he'll consider that a good thing, that it's an indication that he may one day move past the friend zone. Since Carly knew she was bonded to Adam, she should have kept herself separate from Kane or made it clear to him (gently) that there was no hope of a romantic relationship. Instead, she continued to let him get comfortable until he started making her uncomfortable. It almost seemed a bit selfish on Carly's part because she wanted his friendship without thinking about the painful consequences for both herself and Kane.

Miller56 · Post by **Miller56** » 04 Feb 2020, 18:24

I think it is always easy to mistake someone's intentions and we need to be self aware in all situations. I feel like Carly misled Kane and made him feel like there may be a chance for them to be more than friends. I am not big on using any sort of violence, even slapping someone, to get my point across so it came across as too harsh.

Rayasaurus · Post by **Rayasaurus** » 04 Feb 2020, 19:03

I don't like physical violence in general, in any form, but I do think that she had the right to be upset. No matter what she's wearing, Kane knew that she was in a relationship. I sympathize with him; it's hard when a crush is unrequited, but that doesn't justify him kissing her without asking.

Jocelyn Eastman · Post by **Jocelyn Eastman** » 04 Feb 2020, 23:01

skindrukas wrote: ↑04 Feb 2020, 07:55 I don't know if that's true but my brother taught me that there's no such thing as platonic friendship between men and women. Not from a man’s side anyway. I've been remembering this lesson and never got into "physical" trouble despite my looks =D

I’ve been in them. Not all men see women as theirs to have, nor should they.

Samantha Shinn · Post by **Samantha Shinn** » 05 Feb 2020, 00:53

I think she did lead Kane on some. She knew that he had developed feelings for her and so she should have addressed that early on and set boundaries between them. I do believe that there was some more than friendly emotional attachment to the two. She should not have slapped him, especially since she made mistakes in the relationship as well by not addressing it and allowing there to be more than friendly approaches. However, I do believe that she was trying to be in denial of it because she did not want to take the chance of losing him as a friend. Also, he should have acted better because she was obviously in a relationship with someone else. Big no no to kiss someone in a relationship, so I believer her reaction was just out of shock. She did apologize though, thank goodness!

Brenda Creech · Post by **Brenda Creech** » 05 Feb 2020, 02:29

skindrukas wrote: ↑04 Feb 2020, 07:55 I don't know if that's true but my brother taught me that there's no such thing as platonic friendship between men and women. Not from a man’s side anyway. I've been remembering this lesson and never got into "physical" trouble despite my looks =D

I have to say, being from the old school, that I agree with your brother on that! Especially during adolescence!

Brenda Creech · Post by **Brenda Creech** » 05 Feb 2020, 02:38

Rayasaurus wrote: ↑04 Feb 2020, 19:03 I don't like physical violence in general, in any form, but I do think that she had the right to be upset. No matter what she's wearing, Kane knew that she was in a relationship. I sympathize with him; it's hard when a crush is unrequited, but that doesn't justify him kissing her without asking.

I don't like physical violence either. I'm thinking it was a first instinct reaction because she felt bad that she slapped him right away. They were both at fault if you think about it; they knew how each other felt! Thanks for commenting!

Brenda Creech · Post by **Brenda Creech** » 05 Feb 2020, 04:14

Everydayadventure15 wrote: ↑04 Feb 2020, 14:00 I'm not a fan of their relationship in the book. It almost seemed to be promoting the idea that it's ok to lead someone on. She acted like Kane's desire to kiss her was all his fault when she never established clear boundaries by waiting for him to fully understand that they were never going to be more than friends. In my experience, you can't tell a guy that you care about him as a friend because he'll consider that a good thing, that it's an indication that he may one day move past the friend zone. Since Carly knew she was bonded to Adam, she should have kept herself separate from Kane or made it clear to him (gently) that there was no hope of a romantic relationship. Instead, she continued to let him get comfortable until he started making her uncomfortable. It almost seemed a bit selfish on Carly's part because she wanted his friendship without thinking about the painful consequences for both herself and Kane.

Very well said, and I agree!

Browlyns · Post by **Browlyns** » 05 Feb 2020, 06:21

Carly was right to slap him, I think it is male chauvinism that drove Kane to kiss. Interpreting every action woman takes from a sexual point of view.

Howlan · Post by **Howlan** » 05 Feb 2020, 06:26

Carly and Kane's relationship in this book was entirely based on the fact that she really a good friend outside her Russian world. Though she has Crystal, she bonded with Kane on the terms that they went to the same part-time job and I feel that that was okay. She needed a friend outside of her mutant world and Kane was closest to her in the human world.

Howlan · Post by **Howlan** » 05 Feb 2020, 06:29

Rayasaurus wrote: ↑04 Feb 2020, 19:03 I don't like physical violence in general, in any form, but I do think that she had the right to be upset. No matter what she's wearing, Kane knew that she was in a relationship. I sympathize with him; it's hard when a crush is unrequited, but that doesn't justify him kissing her without asking.

That is true. She wanted Kane to be her friend because he reminds her of the world beyond Iksha and hunting. Kane was a reminder that she had people who will appreciate her in the human world.

Hi_low · Post by **Hi_low** » 05 Feb 2020, 07:11

I feel like a lot of things would have prevented the kiss/slap scene between Kane and Carly. If. Carly had set boundaries rather than assumed then there wouldn't have been an issue. And if Kane and Carly would have acknowledged that Carly was with someone else it wouldn't have happened either. Nevertheless, these things didn't happen. I feel like the slap was a reaction that couldn't have been prevented in the moment but it definitely could have been prevented early in the relationship