Are unmarried women still treated as outcasts in rural communities?

[Laura Ungureanu]

From what I've seen, they are not treated like outcasts, but sometimes they are still pushed into marrying. I hope I never see a case where they are treated like outcasts, because it will make me really angry to see something like that.

[Jackie Holycross]

I have several friends who are single and living lives they love. However, people are always asking them when they are getting married or trying to fix them up with dates. This implies that their lives are not complete or acceptable without a spouse. I have told them that marriage brings it's own set of problems and they are blessed to be happily single.

[Shola0706]

Yes unmarried people are still treated as outcast in the rural communities. The reason is because in ghana(prampram) age matters much in marriage so if you stay in the community for long and you are not married people see you to be
1. Being not able to give birth
2. Irresponsible person
3.over dependent on parents
4. Not hardworking
This and more are the reasons why unmarried people are treated as outcast in rural communities.

That's really fascinating, Alex. In western society, on the whole, single women are regarded as especially hardworking, as many have to hold down more than one job to make ends meet, especially if they have dependents whom they must support. Thanks so much for sharing!

It's interesting that you both say this. I would think the image of a 'feminist' in a western context is that of a single woman (maybe with a kid or two), holding it all down and being very successful. I maybe wrong.

But yes unmarried women are badly viewed in my Nigerian society, rural or urban. They could even call you witch and take you to places for exorcism, to chase out spirits preventing you from getting married.

[richardgift]

yes i think so especially in nigeria

[jvez]

I don't think this is still the case, at least from where I am. Before, women are expected to get married at around early twenties. But now, people no longer care that much, specially in the case of professional women. Single women who chose career and personal improvement before marriage are actually praised.

[EvaDar]

As a woman who has never married, I can attest that yes, there is still a strong cultural bias in the US, in favor of women being married and having children. There has been some progress, but social situations become awkward when the compulsory assumption is that you are either married or divorced. The difficult silences in social situations used to bother me. The situation raises in people's minds many notions that are too personal to ask. "She must be hard to get along with.", "Is she gay?", "Maybe she can't conceive.", "There must be something wrong with her." So, the assumptions stay silent in people's minds and perpetuate the "old maid" stigma. The single women demographic has been growing for decades. I read that single women now comprise the second largest group of homebuyers in the US, and the number of women living alone has doubled since 1970. So, women are exercising their choices. We can hope the social norms continue to evolve as well.

[bootsie0126+]

First, the sad thing about this question is the fact that women either married /unmarried are still discriminated against throughout society. There has always been a status hierarchy in society and for the most part, men have been and continue to be at the head. The level of discrimination differs from place to place, but it is still based on the hierarchy status. Most women in rural areas are often young mothers with very little education, living in poverty and many unmarried. Although you can have two women, one married the other unmarried, living in the same community, the unmarried one would be considered beneath a married woman. It’s about society’s idea of social status. Once again, this depends on location. Women married/unmarried in India, regardless of the area that they live in is discriminated against equally.

[bootsie0126+]

As a woman who has never married, I can attest that yes, there is still a strong cultural bias in the US, in favor of women being married and having children. There has been some progress, but social situations become awkward when the compulsory assumption is that you are either married or divorced. The difficult silences in social situations used to bother me. The situation raises in people's minds many notions that are too personal to ask. "She must be hard to get along with.", "Is she gay?", "Maybe she can't conceive.", "There must be something wrong with her." So, the assumptions stay silent in people's minds and perpetuate the "old maid" stigma. The single women demographic has been growing for decades. I read that single women now comprise the second largest group of homebuyers in the US, and the number of women living alone has doubled since 1970. So, women are exercising their choices. We can hope the social norms continue to evolve as well.

I understand what you mean. I have never been married myself and there is a stigma associated with unmarried women. Women have come a long way and much as been accomplished but there is still a long way to go. No longer are women relying on men to take of them, women make their own money and can achieve everything a married woman can. The "Happy Housewife" era has long since past and women are taken control of their lives. Women no longer have to think about finding a husband right after high school and live the typical stay-at-home mom used to do. If that is what a woman wants to do, that's her right, just like it is a woman's right to not choose marriage over a career.

[EvaDar]

Well said, bootsie0126+.

[meadhbh]

I definitely think this varies so much from country to country. Can't say it's particularly something I've noticed here in Ireland!

[Annette Smith]

As many others have said, most members of society strive for coupledom and to create their own families. So as a result those that don't achieve or want this ideal, are viewed as lesser members of society.

[Lgs1089]

I don't really think unmarried women in rural communities are considered outcasts per se, but we do tend to get questioned frequently about 'When you gon' finally tie the knot,' 'When you gonna give ya momma a grandbaby, 'Are you gay? because you can tell me. I'll love you anyway, even if you're queer." PSA: I'm from a rural town in southern Mississippi. I have referenced direct quotes. My apologies if some find them offensive.

[bootsie0126+]

I really don't think so because I live in a rural community my self and women are not treated as outcasts. Also, today's laws help to prevent discrimination against women.

True we have laws established that will try to prevent discrimination against women but it still occurs. There are still men who believe that a woman's position is to stay at home, barefoot an pregnant. There domain is the household and the outside world belongs to the man. There are still practices in the workplace that discriminate against women. For example, if a woman and man applied for the same job, equal experience, equal level of expertise. If a client of that company feels more comfortable with a man, regardless of equal status, the man would be chosen over the woman. Women still get past over for a promotion simply because of their gender. And let's not get started with sexual discrimination, that's a joke. So it is true that the laws created to help wade out discrimination against women has made some strive, but there is still a long way to go.

[AnnaKathleen]

I don't really think unmarried women in rural communities are considered outcasts per se, but we do tend to get questioned frequently about 'When you gon' finally tie the knot,' 'When you gonna give ya momma a grandbaby, 'Are you gay? because you can tell me. I'll love you anyway, even if you're queer." PSA: I'm from a rural town in southern Mississippi. I have referenced direct quotes. My apologies if some find them offensive.

I agree, it's not being an outcast as much as being questioned a lot. I live in a small city rather than a rural community, but it happens to me, and it's mainly family that does it. I have to say I think it kind of relates to the generation/age of the people around and how conservative or (for lack of better phrasing) old-fashioned they are. In my experience, at least. The older or more conservative they are (especially with gendered roles) the more they ask or even discuss it without the person's knowledge. I think it's better than the past, but not every person's mindset matches current society mindsets.

[P Reefer]

Unmarried women in my community are often able to earn more income than married women, as they are sometimes able to devote more hours to their jobs and also to earn extra income. Unmarried women are free to live independently in their own homes and apt, thus often providing a home for other family members. Very often they are able to travel more often to visit other countries if they can afford it financially. Location: Trinidad and Tobago.